Rather Tired

 

I have to confess I am rather tired.

This weekend was another trip back to The Ranch to do my now-monthly round of check-in. Originally I had elected to try and make this a one day trip, but after thinking of the opportunity to see my Aunt Pat again, it made more sense to try to extend it to today. 

An early flight - up at 0315 on a Saturday, one hour flight to Old Home, then grabbing the truck that my sister had left in the parking garage when she left the night before for the weekend, then breakfast with my cousins, then up to The Ranch and visiting my Aunt and Uncle....and that was all before noon.

(My Aunt has restarted chemotherapy.  That said, she was happy to see me and was definitely involved in the conversation.)

After that, it was time for chores.  Opening up the water lines on the toilets to flush the bowls, realizing that there was no water, going down the hill to bump the pump to get  it started, then waiting for things to fill up.  Checking for any leaks or critters in the house (thankfully still no critters, and only the evidence of the one roof leak which has not leaked since this Winter).  Weed whacking the weeds directly around the house.  Visiting with The Cowboy and The Young Cowboy.  Making a drive down the hill to donate books and get a new battery for the Gator (which is still not work, although it at least turns over - alas, for another visit).  Going through items one more time to see if anything else can be moved to the donate pile.  Dinner with Uisdean Ruadh.

The following morning, rising earlier (because it is light early) and finishing a book in silence.  Breakfast, vacuum, reclean the toilets, talk a walk down the road, and then back to the airport to park the car for my sister (ironically enough, she saw me in line waiting to get on a plane just as she got off and we talked for a bit).  Flying back to New Home 3.0 and inevitably arriving a little late - just late enough that I could not make it to Iaijutsu class for the week.  Then, of course, catching up on the remaining chores at home (grocery shopping, interacting with a grumpy rabbit that was not happy I was gone for 1.5 days).

And, of course, trying to get yogurt started for next week.

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This flow of events is now fairly typical for my once a month visits to The Ranch.  The exhaustion is too; so much so that I have largely booked single day visits for most of the rest of this year in the hopes that I can get the chores I need to get done in half a day, come back home, and give myself a full day to recover (as well as get to Iaijutsu class on a regular basis).  

If anything, this sort of thing makes me glad that things happened at the end of 2023/early 2024 the way that they did: I cannot imagine trying to do this now with my mother still alive and having the bulk of the decluttering ahead of us.  

The ability to go and stay for a week and work remotely while they were alive was always something of the equivalent of a hothouse flower living in an arctic environment:  an artifice which was made possibly by a number of factors including The Plague, work from home, a job that allowed me (twice) to be remote, and a fully stocked house to do it in.  None of the factors exist anymore and even if some of them did, the simple fact is that there is no more Interweb there (not surprising, considering what it cost).

And while I am still grateful I am able to go there at all, it is surprising to me how much a thing changes when it comes to feel more like a chore than a joy.