I do not ask for forgiveness as much as I should.
If I am less than completely honest, I would say that it is because I try to speak and act in a way that is does not necessitate that. But if I were completely honest, I would have to say that is not true a lot of the time.
Why am I so reluctant to ask for forgiveness? As the Abba notes above, it likely pride. My own pride. I hate being wrong - but I am willing to "fess up" if is a minor issue. Major issues, not so much.
So often I am willing to admit I was wrong - with justification, with clarification, with "Yes - but...". It is humbling to admit you are wrong - without defense, without justification, without anything other than honesty.
I was wrong. Forgive me.
Perhaps then, if Pride is the major issue it is no wonder that I am so unwilling to say "Please forgive me". More than anything else, Pride hates to be humbled. And in a world that exalts self above all, being willing to ask for forgiveness privately - let alone publicly - asking for forgiveness feels like the kiss of death.
Which it is, in a way - death to pride, death to self. Which sounds a great deal like "If any man would would after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and Follow Me."
I think pride is the unfortunate "natural" condition of humans. Plus, humility is not something society values. That said, I've learned to embrace the situations and circumstances that keep me humble (there have been a lot of them).
ReplyDeletePride does seem to be the state of natural man, Rousseau's idea of the "Noble Savage" notwithstanding - and no society ever has valued humility, at least that I am aware of.
DeleteTo your point, the quicker we learn to embrace them, likely the more we will learn from them.
That first time stating "I was wrong" may be the hardest but the times AFTER that have come a bit easier to say at least for me although still too frequent TB.
ReplyDeleteNylon12 - That is fair. And it does raise the point that if we are in a relationship or a society where asking for forgiveness is the norm, it makes the overall process much easier.
DeleteYes sir, standing on my toes and nailed me on the nose. THAT is a very difficult thing: "It is humbling to admit you are wrong - without defense, without justification, without anything other than honesty." If I just reacted to life and didn't THINK about everything forty times from different angles beforehand, maybe it would be easier. But to have put a lot of thought into what I'm gonna do and say, then to be absolutely WRONG is humiliating enough.
ReplyDeletePride is the original sin... And it is a rough one at that. Isaiah 14:12-14
STxAR - Yes, sitting there and consuming thought about the ways one will ask makes it even more "difficult". To your point, just asking straight away is easier (which, I think, was what Christ was after - He did not say "Think about asking for forgiveness before you go", but "Ask for forgiveness".
DeleteI find it much easier to apologize and ask for forgiveness these days. To your point though, I also have much less pride now than I did when I was younger.
ReplyDeleteEd, I do as well - and if this is "easier", then I was a disaster years ago. Not a surprise, really.
DeleteFriend of mine wrote this. I thought I was a much better person than I am, then I read this. I have so far to go . . . https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/defeating-sin-overcoming-our-passions-and-changing-forever_joseph-david-huneycutt/1003472/item/8016757/?mkwid=%7cdc&pcrid=76897273066008&pkw=&pmt=be&slid=&product=8016757&plc=&pgrid=1230353808544645&ptaid=pla-4580496736906935&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Shopping+-+Low+Vol+Frontlist+-+Under+%2410&utm_term=&utm_content=%7cdc%7cpcrid%7c76897273066008%7cpkw%7c%7cpmt%7cbe%7cproduct%7c8016757%7cslid%7c%7cpgrid%7c1230353808544645%7cptaid%7cpla-4580496736906935%7c&msclkid=1484581529be193cbec2303f61e4e363#idiq=8016757&edition=7501437
ReplyDelete(sorry about the stupid-long link)
DeleteThanks John! I added it to the reading list - although I think there may be a problem on Thriftbooks end as to the description:
Delete"o win a screen role, an actor must learn to contend with an on-camera audition. Understanding how to make the crucial adjustments to one "s craft that this kind of audition requires is vital to the career of any screen actor. The On-Camera Audition sets out the key elements of a successful on-camera audition and explains how to put them into practice. Joseph Hacker draws on 35 years of acting experience to guide the reader through the screen auditioning process with an engaging and undaunting approach. Key elements examined include: textual analysis knowing where to look dealing with nerves on-camera interviews using the environment retaining the camera "s focus The book also features point-by-point chapter summaries, as well as a glossary of acting and technical terms, and is a comprehensive and enlightening resource for screen actors of all levels. This description may be from another edition of this product."
Seems like a mismatch from the cover?
It is a complete fail on the description.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, I got a good laugh out of it!
DeleteThe people I admire the most are those who admit they are wrong and ask for forgiveness. I imagine that is true for most people. And yet those people are few and far between. What an odd thing... pride keeps us from apologizing, while apologizing is pretty much necessary to rebuild trust and perhaps admiration.
ReplyDeleteI feel like we get to see the humble you, though, TB, as you work through these hard things here. As I read posts like this one, I often think, "That isn't at all how I imagine TB to be."
Becki - I think we all admire such people. But yes, they are very rare and few and far between. Perhaps that is why we admire them all the more, because they are so rare.
DeleteI would like to say that the real "me" is as much or more on display here than in "life". That said, I try to be honest about myself - and tend to think these failings in my nature are real.