That annoying feeling that you are changing, but you do not necessarily understand how.
You can feel it going on in the back of your mind. Things do not seem to fit quite right into your life anymore. You follow patterns of living that have been established, perhaps sometimes for years, yet there is a certain hollowness to them. Things which previously seemed important, even critical to your life, have faded from vivid colors to shades of gray.
It is not that you are questioning anything - at least not consciously. But a feeling arises that you know have felt before, the sense that the world as it exists for you does not quite work anymore the way it used to. It is as if your mind has recognized this, but events and conscious thought have not caught up.
You keep looking for a clue, a sign, - something, anything to tell you where to begin to chip away at this seeming impenetrable darkness to the light which is behind it. But the questions echo back at you in the darkness, returned without response.
And so you continue on, a butterfly in a chrysalis perhaps, quietly wearing away at the surrounding routine that is your life with the hope that at one point, somewhere along the chain, that tiny crack that will begin to let in the truth will finally appear.