We hit a sort of dividing line this past week, one of those things about which you get a hint of having a lasting impact on your life but which you can currently only see the hints of the outlines at the time.
Nighean Gheal graduated from 8th grade last week. It means a host of of things - a new school, a realigning of interests and activities, even a sense that college is not too far distant in the future. A sense of passing is here, a sense I cannot fully understand.
We are also buying a house - theoretically today. It is interesting in that it feels different than the two previous house purchases we had undertaken. The first was the stage of happiness: "Hey, we're buying a house!". The second, purchased during the time of The Firm, had the sense of "Hey, we're buying the house that we want!". This one has much more of the sense of doing something because it is the sensible thing to do less than with an input of this being a life changing or life enhancing event.
My parents were out to visit this week as well. Their visit gave me an opportunity to put a temporary hold on virtually every activity that I have been doing lately. Besides the general sense of letting my body recover (for which it is extremely grateful), it has opened a series of questions for me: Why am I doing what I am doing? Should I still be doing it? Are my beliefs and assumptions about life the correct ones - or do I need to re-examine those as well and from there consider what I need to be doing now?
All of this is swirling around, even as I "enjoy" the last day of my vacation before I go back.
It nags at my conscious. It plays at the back of my mind. It is the sense that things are moving under the surface of my life - and that, soon enough, they will reveal themselves.
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