I got home last night, having stayed later than I intended to fix a problem not of my doing after 3 days of audit feeling completely spent. I barely had the energy to practice Iaido and walk the dog before I crashed into bed. Elements of hope and aspiration I had been feeling earlier were wiped out in an avalanche of last minute fixes and two audits which seem to have gone unacknowledged by virtually anyone.
There were other things I could have done - should have done, probably - but were pushed to the side by a vast sense of exhaustion and lack of energy.
How do I find the drive to carry on with a vision of what I would like to do in the midst of what actually seems to be happening? Too often my enthusiasm is drained away, my plans set awry, my vision clouded by the day to day drain which masquerades as a career.
If there is such a vision, how do I fix it in my brain?
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