The Ravishing Mrs. TB asked me last night "Have you decided what you want to be when you grow up?"
I stared at her in the dark (the sort of thing that creates no effect because, well, it's dark) and asked "Have I what?"
"Have you decided what you want to be when you grow up" she said again. "You need to be happier. If your job is the issue, what is it that you want to do?"
I sighed. "I suppose what I'm doing now is it. The pay is good, and the career path is not too bad. The company - yeah, the company I don't care for so much but that's people, not really the career. Besides, I can't really change right now."
"No" she replied, "but you could start doing it in small steps."
I clonked off to sleep sometime soon after that but the thought was there for me to pick up when I got up this morning. If I was to do something else, what would it be?
Interestingly enough, I had been thinking around that thought earlier in the evening. I came up with five things (in no particular order):
1) Writer
2) Farmer
3) Swordsman
4) Musician
5) Theologian
The odd thing is, all of these are currently present in one form or another in my life, just as hobbies or part of hobbies. So it's not so much a question of not doing them, it's a question of doing them more.
How would one get from here to there? That I'm not sure of. The reality is, my current career field could (over time) fund a transfer over to any one of these careers (except swordsman, I suppose - not much calling for that these days) - and with a little effort on my part, I'm willing to bet that even earning with this field could be significantly improved.
So what do I want to be when I grow up? What am I willing to do to get there?
So, hmmm, seems to me we've had very much this same conversation about a year or so ago.
ReplyDeleteSo here's my thoughts: Definitely do not go into music as a career. A quick way to starve to death. Not good for the kids. Theologian - well, possible but will you be able to support the family on this one? Writer, hmmm, you've tried this one - it needs a supporting job to carry you through while the career builds. Farmer - well, you have the potential land but you are late coming into the industry. A lot of education needed to go into this whether you raise crops or cattle. Think hard about this one.
We have had this conversation about a year ago...
ReplyDeleteHmmm. What you say is correct about every one of them - in each case in some way, shape or form I would have to supplement my income with, well, an income. Which is sort of the conclusion I came to with The Ravishing Mrs. TB - at this point in my career (12 years in) it's probably the most realistic choice at this point. It's just the sense that I'm settling for something at this point, something that does not have my heart but just produces an income. The sense of getting to the end of my life and saying "I pushed paper" lacks, I don't know, a sense of purpose or contribution.
Yes, you are right, to a point. You are also at that point in your life where your obligations to your family outweigh your desire to excel in another career or talent. However, as the Ravishing Mrs. TB suggested, you are also at the perfect place to begin to prepare for that time in your life when you can allow yourself to try something different (I'm betting on writing or ministry). I know you will say it is not possible right now with the demands on your time that your present job puts on you. You know the remedy for that! Look for another job in this current industry where the time demands are rational and will allow you to write or study to build your skills. Would your family consider another move if the best opportunity called for it?
ReplyDeleteTrue enough, and the search is on. Ironically I'm sort of having an Otis moment now: overall, the move has been great for my family, especially for the girls and their school. I don't think we're opposed to a move at all, but I sort of hate to uproot everyone so relatively soon, especially because of them. On the other hand, I'm not sure how many opportunities exist here in New Home - from what I've seen, not as many as I would have hoped for.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, of course - although in some ways lately I've been having an Otis moment, that whole "Maybe the reason this came about is not all about you". Certainly the kids are having a great schooling experience which may be part of the reason we came. That makes me a bit reluctant to boldly pursue moving at this point - although given my current work environment, that decision may also change quickly.
ReplyDelete