Friday, May 07, 2010

A Moment

Looking back in my life, I can see points where corners turned, where a decision - a single decision in a single moment- changed the course and outcome of my life.

The interesting thing to me is that if I look back, I can consciously see that at the time those decisions were made there was a sense of "I shouldn't be doing this" - but I went ahead and did it anyway.

I am rapidly approaching another one of those decision points in my life, not so much a major decision of direction but a choice of ethics, a choice that I am (theoretically) paid to do.

I have to be careful. I have this tendency to overdramatize these things, making every event the equivalent of The Charge of Light Brigade. None the less, this time I think it qualifies.

A single decision in a single moment.

As with any question of ethics, is it worth the outcome of the decision? Is it worth the inevitable nagging and haggling, the "You're too conservative" and "You don't really understand" and (my most favorite) "You must obey"?

What is my honor and my ethics worth? A paycheck? Or something more?

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