Saturday, October 17, 2026

Passing Through Our Hands


When I was in high school, my world (beyond school) largely consisted of band, drama, role-playing games, and video games.

I spent hours reading through books and modules of the early days of role-playing games:  Dungeons and Dragons, Traveller, Gamma World, Car Wars.  I played, with a best friend or small group, as we adventured through worlds that did not exist in our minds.

The same with video games as well - these were the days before home computers, so the only place to play was at the local arcade, pizza parlor, or bowling alley.  I pumped quarters in.  If we went to the bookstore in The Big City, I would find the magazines that had "50 ways to score high in Defender" or "Galaga:  Unlocked!".  

Meanwhile in the background, band and drama filled the passing of the year.  When I was not studying, I was practicing or rehearsing.  When I was not practicing or rehearsing, I was reading or playing.

And then, of course, high school ended.

As it turns out, role-playing games and video games had a pretty limited application in the post-high school world.  Yes, I continued to play for awhile, but the increased demands of college and then work pushed such things away.  Drama fell by the wayside, driven by the fact that being a big fish in a small pond is not the same thing as being a small fish in a big pond.  Only music stuck with me in some form or fashion through the years - along with a nostalgic love of 1st Edition Gamma World materials, which I keep lovingly on my shelf.

My life - or much of what I had prepared for - simply did not matter.

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It is easy enough to look back on our late teens or high school or even college and sniff at what we spent our time on, realizing that it was really not preparing us for the life we actually lived.  But the reality is that this situation continues unabated in the modern world.

If anything, I wonder if the modern world has exacerbated the situation.

Americans, among other things, have often been known for the fact that they seem to believe they can do anything. In some ways that is undoubtedly a legacy from our founding and the fact that for many, they came from hard circumstances or from elsewhere and made a life for themselves.  But just like fruit hanging on a tree too long, the idea seems to have gone to rot.

We have moved from the era of "I can do (or be) anything I want" to "I do (or be) anything I want".  My interests, my passions, shaping the world around myself and my wants and desires has become paramount.

An easy place to see this is in the growth of college programs, where we now have majors that cover literally every possible outcome in the world. Which is fine, I suppose.  But many of those bright eyed students (including me, at one time) never asked the question "And what am I going to do when I get out of school?"  

We prepare for the life that we imagine, but have no true influence over. 

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Arguably the modern world is more busy and active than ever.  If one wanted to, one could be engaged in inputs and activities every hour of the day one was alive, every day of the week, every week of the month, every month of the year.  And those inputs are exciting:  visually stimulating, sounding amazing, mind engaging, fulfilling every desire we might have to be engaged or educated or entertained.

And yet this is a life which is in some means artificial.

We spend so much time in a world "out there" or preparing for things that do not truly matter that we forget that the life we do control - the one that matters - goes on quietly in the background.  

The life we control is generally not glamourous.  It is often not exciting.  It consists mainly of the things we do day to day, the interactions we have with others, the daily religious observances and prayers, the small chores and preparations and other tasks that seem completely "boring" or uninteresting.  And yet arguably it is in the moments that we are truly living our lives, truly grasping the hours instead of letting them slip through our fingers.  Because these things are the true things that impact us in meaningful and deep ways, ways that make us ourselves.

I cannot grasp the life that has slipped through my hands already.  But I can at least make the amount remaining mean something, instead of wafting off into a future that never was going to be.

8 comments:

  1. I think the modern world has not just exacerbated but created the situation. As a society, we seem to place an inordinate value on schoolroom education, somehow believing it is the only key to an undefined "better" future. Part of that education (reinforced by the entertainment industry) is that we can be and do anything we want to. It puzzles me that very few seem to notice how all of this clashes with reality.

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    1. Leigh, it is not wrong to see this as a creation of the modern world, at least with where we are now. College is seen as the guaranteed gateway to a better life (although colleges are shutting down both programs and themselves). Artificial Intelligence will change this even more.

      You are correct as well that the "we can be anything" is reinforced at every aspect of society, including entertainment. I struggle to think of major series or movies where the character is an ordinary person living an ordinary life and quite happy; I suspect that is because "ordinary life" is seen as boring to a great many people. Even if we live in it, I wonder if many do not want to remember that much of what they spend their life on will have little impact or value in the long run (For example, almost every drug or device I have worked on over the years either did not work out or is no longer on the market. How is that for "contributing to the industry"?).

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  2. I cannot relate to the first part of your post. Growing up on a rural farm without a television, I had no friends to play board games with or even access to arcades, any sort of restaurant or place of business where kids could hang out. I suppose that in large part explains why I require very little now to make me happy. I don't have to go places or achieve things with others. But I too have spent more time than I care to admit planning for future things and now that I'm older, I'm beginning to realize that many will likely never happen.

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    1. Ed - I thought of you as penned the first part of this, thinking to myself "Ed and I will have very different experiences."

      Honestly, now that I am older one thing I having to do is look at my thoughts and plans in light of the time remaining and start to make some hard decisions. In some cases it is letting things go, in others it is preparing to be able to do them into the future as I am able.

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  3. Nylon129:10 AM

    The emphasis on "you must go to college" over the last five, six decades, along with the proliferation of so many majors as you mentioned TB, resulted in so many students accumulating so much crippling debt because of the rise in tuition over the years. That debt load affects how life is lived. Those computer chips have really changed things, not always for the better, especially what with the AI hi-jinks recently. Pardon my jumping around here with a couple of thoughts and here's another.....does a person know how many days they get to wake up to? PS TB....frost on so many neighbors roofs!

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    1. Nylon12, college is just not for everyone. It is just not. And there is no shame or judgement in that. Where it became an issue is when society decided that college inherently made certain jobs better. If we are looking to blame the decline in the trades and manual labour, we also have point the fingers at our expectations (even now) of what is a more "valuable" job.

      With the advent of Artificial Intelligence, we are about to go through another major change in employment. A great many people - perhaps even me - are going to find our jobs vastly changed or even gone. I may get out before it impacts me; the cohort behind me will be definitely impacted.

      Frost? We are still slowly cooling.

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  4. Anonymous2:53 PM

    Three day ago an employment add for a tube welder with pay of $46.05, per hour but a work week of 60 hours. Of course I had to figure the yearly salary which came to $167.622. Saw Mike Rowe interview 2 fiber optic guys, under 30 who had been head hunted 3X and were now making over 200 grand per year. Collage was not required for either job.

    I'm with Ed as nothing in your early life even remotely resembles my life.

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    1. Anon - I had a charmed early life, for good and bad. Likely it suited my rather...undisciplined and fantasy seeking life.

      One of The Ravishing Mrs. TB's former coworker's children went to trade school (welding) and then got a job easily making six figures. Like your example for the fiber optics fellows, the opportunities are still out there. They are just disguised as hard work.

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