This Saturday, we dropped off our oldest - Nighean Gheal - at the airport for her long trip to Hong Kong (yes, that Hong Kong) for her second year of college. It is likely that I will not see her again until June.
It is an odd thing, this watching our children go away. I find myself (in many ways) the least affected of my family - but more by conscious choice rather than being unaffected.
Certainly, there is the immediate change of her not being here (but then again, she was gone for most of the previous school year). And while in odd ways her presence will continue to linger immediately in our lives for the short term - the random thing that was forgotten, the leftovers she did not remember to eat before she left - the reality is that between this year and next, when she goes to Italy, she will at best be home three months over the next two year stretch if that. In a very real way - perhaps more real than any of us truly want to admit - she is gone.
I think all this, of course - but then the other side of my brain kicks in. "And that is exactly what it supposed to happen" it replies.
Ideally we raise our children to be independent adults. We teach them to do things on their own, from tying their shoes to dressing themselves to managing their study time to driving to earning money. We teach them all these things because these are the sorts of things adults need to learn to function in the adult world. Should we then be surprised or unduly saddened when they leave? Is this not in fact what we were spending our whole efforts for?
I sometimes wonder if animals feel the same way when their own fly the nest (in some cases, literally). Do they too mourn their going out? Or is it simply something that does not register on their minds at all, simply that the young one was here and now is gone? Do we have the corner on the market of emotionalism in this area?
I will miss her, of course, as I will eventually miss the other two when they leave as well. But I am reconciled to the outcome. That die was cast the moment they came into the world.
Ah, those going off to college years. They were tough, but they served as a warm-up for going off on their own. I think animals understand that sense of loss too. I just sold off the last of this year's kids, a 6-month-old doe. Her mother was keenly aware she was being taken away, and looked and cried for her several days after she left.
ReplyDeleteI will say a prayer for her safe travels. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd hopefully she will write! Ours was not so good at writing when he went to England.
God bless!
I think you are right Leigh. They know.
ReplyDeleteThis is a warm up and launch in one fell swoop. I suspect she will not be back for very long at all anymore.
Thanks Linda! I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI do no know how much she will write, but she does stay in very close contact with her mom and sisters via the Snapchat thingy.
Ah. I have heard the term but never used it. I have a brother on Skype, but never use that either.
ReplyDeleteI suspect from what you say, snapchat is like that.
How proud you must be,TB. Where will she go? What will she see?
ReplyDeleteLinda, I do not understand Snapchat myself, but all the cool kids use it (which, by default, excludes me...).
ReplyDeleteThanks Glen. We very much are.
ReplyDeleteNot sure where all she will go. She is pretty good about getting out and going where she is so I am sure she will see plenty of Hong Kong. For Christmas break she is heading to South Korea to see her boyfriend's family. I know she would like to head to Mainland China as well.
Ah. Yes. Well, that definitely does not include me. I was never, and am still not, a cool kid. ;-)
ReplyDeleteGood luck, God bless and safe travels to her. ♥
Me neither Linda, me neither.
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