So today we celebrate 25 years of being Mr. and Mrs. TB.
I do not know that I can honestly say I had a clue what I was doing when I got married. I do not precisely think the phrase "There was no chance in the world it work" applies, but arguably the odds were reasonably against us: even at the tender age of 26 I had a fair amount of growing up left to do: I had two degrees, college debt, and no idea what in the world I was going to do with my life. I still contend that I probably had nothing particularly wonderful to offer.
We have lived through seven moves, three births, three houses, a rather varied number of careers, nine cars, and rather large collection of pets. We have lost and gained friends. We have found a number of new interests and lost a number of old ones.
Marriage, in case you do not know, is hard. It is probably by far the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. As I described it once to an unmarried friend, "It is not as if you can take your ball and go home. You are already home." And I have come to understand over the years how many marriages do in fact fall apart - I suspect in the current environment it is even more difficult because there is so much in the world that tries to drag us apart. In an age of selfish gratification, being willing to surrender your wants and desires for the sake of the other person really is an act of rebellion.
I do not really have any great advice for how to stay married, other than "Do not give up." Which seems a bit trite. After all, not giving up is not a particularly elegant thing (and it sure would not sell books). But it is that commitment to not giving up, to staying in the relationship for no other reason than you promised you would, that makes things work (e.g. listening to your "feelings" at those moments is not particularly helpful).
We will have a quiet evening tonight, going out for dinner - perhaps one that is a little nicer, perhaps - and reflecting on 25 years of life together. Not a wholly poor way to spend a milestone.