For the second night now I have awoken at 3 AM. Both times they pulled me out of dreams of work related incidents - related to Monday somewhat, people of old stalking my dreams.
Why are they there? In this case it was someone I have not seen for almost 15 years whose picture I happened to see on LinkedIn at a business not where I currently work but one in the same industry, harassing and being short with people for items for a review. I do not remember this individual ever acting this way. What gives?
My subconscious is, I think, trying to tell me something. Something profound I think, something about work and what I am doing with it and my life. Which I suppose is helpful and needed.
What can I consciously think about work right now?
1) I am bored. Plenty to do, of course, but a great deal of it is exactly the sort of work I was doing last year or the year before that. The challenge is not necessarily to do better or different but to simply do more.
How does this manifest itself? For me, I eat - or at least snack a lot. I tend to have problems concentrating on the task at hand. I mentally wander.
2) I am trivialized. A great deal of what I have to work on now feels very much like wandering off into the tall weeds doing work that is essentially invisible - and at some level, excruciating trivial. Like tracking down workflows of individual documents to see if they need to be restarted or fixed or preparing meeting notes and meetings for items which will be slightly different but largely the same next month.
3) I do not feel like I am making progress. Perhaps this is the most frustrating as all. I am now entering my 13th year with the same jog title. Seemingly my ability to advance has stalled. And even if things change this year (hope springs eternal) does that practically mean anything? It feels as if items 1 and 2 will still be true.
I am not even sure that that the dreams and what I am feeling about work are consciously related right now. All I do know is that something is seemingly not right in either of them - and they seem to be crossing over.
Ick. Work is a four letter word. Seriously though I know how ya feel and I never had any answers either.
ReplyDeleteI wish I was smarter Preppy. It is like my mind or my soul is trying to tell me something and I am just too obtuse to understand what it is saying.
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