The Power of Being Ourself

Sometimes I think that we forget about the power of being ourself.

Oh, I am always myself, you might argue.  I make a habit and practice of only being myself.  I do not conform myself to those around me.  I am a rugged individualist in an age of electronic uniformity.

And that is probably true at some level for all of us.  But something happens, something a bit insidious, especially when we start to become involved in the lives of other people:  we start not being ourselves.

Some of it is probably natural, of course- after all, we are involved in relationships where we have to change a little to make the relationship go well.  Such is the nature of human interactions.  But what I am more concerned about are the parts and things we lose - perhaps not lose so much as set aside.  Why?  Because we begin to fear that if we practice this or that or do this or that, we will become less attractive to the others involved.  And once we have been involved in a friendship or relationship that is meaningful, we can become attached to it in such a way that we are willing to let parts of ourselves go.

And this is foolish.

Why?  Because we forget that part of the reason that we are in this friendship or relationship is what bring to the relationship.  Not just ourselves - our feelings, our skills and habits, our quirks.  These create the unique bundle that makes "us".  And being "us" gives a power like no other because there is (statistically) no-one like us.

But we forget this.  And so over time the people involved begin to lose interest because we are less and less ourselves and more and more a homogenized person.  We become desperate for the relationship and so we become focused on the relationship, not ourselves in the relationship and what we contribute.  Conversations narrow down to a few things - including the relationship  - and we no longer talk of swordsmanship or a movie or how lavender is our favorite plant.  And then we wonder why we feel we have lost a connection with the relationship.

There is a power in being ourself - not some sort of mystical power that will propel us through a wall or make us fly, but a gentle power which allows us to relate, accomplish, and be a valuable part of any relationship.  The only one that can ultimately take it from us is ourselves.  The good news is the only one that can also reclaim it is ourselves.

Be unique.  Be powerful.  Be yourself.