Friday, February 14, 2014

No-One is Coming

No-one is coming.

I have realized (with a lot of help from Bogha Frois) that I have for a very long time - perhaps always?- been waiting for a hero.  Someone to come and resolve the unresolvable situations in my life.  To save me from the situations that I am seemingly unable to save myself from.

I have done it at work.  For how long have I always hoped that someone would come and change a situation that I was involved in?  For the last 1.5 years, I can count three different people whom I hoped would change the situation that I am currently in, would somehow sweep in and resolve every issue that I am facing, leaving to deal with the challenges of my job alone.

But no-one is coming.

I have done so in my private life as well.  How many times have I find my mind's eye wandering to come and resolve any of the situations that I have faced over their years?  If I am honest, more than I can possibly count.  Always, my mental vision turns to person - and they have varied over the years - that would make things right.

But no-one is coming.

This is a terribly difficult thought for me.  In some ways, perhaps more than I would like to admit, I am a person who likes to have some degree of hope that things will get better.  That is fine of course - but it has to hope in something other than someone else.

It makes me wonder as well if I am putting pressure on individuals unnecessarily, unknowingly.  By passively hoping that someone will come and make things better I can see where it would put pressure on any sort of relationship because instinctively someone is going to sense that you are looking for something else.

No-one is coming.

What to do?  I think that Iai may have the seeds of the answer. 

One of the questions/answers of the certification test is thus:

"What is the symbolic meaning of drawing the sword very quickly?
When you have made a decision, act immediately with hesitation."

Here then is the potential antidote:

1)  Decide.
2)  Act.
3)  Repeat.

What do you decide and act?  This is the part I have to begin work out for myself.  Here we are back to having some level of self confidence in myself, of believing that I can make rational and reasonable decisions - and then acting on them.  And doing it again.  And accepting that you will make some bad decisions but to keep going. 

There is a footnote to this process as well:  do not expect anyone to recognize or approve these decisions.  Maybe they will someday, after you have begun making progress - but by then, of course, hopefully you will not need their approval.  Just keep going, regardless of the notice - or its lack - of others.

No-one is coming.

Time to come to your own rescue.

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