Closing My Eyes

I have a habit of closing my eyes.

Oh, not just physically (sure, I do that at night).  The larger concern is when I do it mentally to situations I simply do not want to address.

Where does this come from? Good question.  I am not really sure I can answer that meaningfully.  I suspect part of it stems from a sense of powerlessness about situations such that if I do not see I cannot know.  Part of it stems from the fact that I do not enjoy confrontation in the least, and many things that one closes one's eyes to require confrontation to deal with.  A third is even more basic:  I simply do not derive any pleasure from arguing about things.

The problem of course is that such things do not go away. At best they linger, not really getting any different.  At worst, they metastasize and become far more difficult - some times, too difficult to otherwise deal without radical measures.

A part of me quails, of course.  To begin to deal with those things that need dealing with is to push myself very far indeed outside of my comfort zone.  It is to begin to deal frankly and honestly with things that I would rather ignore.  It will probably result in some level of confrontation, maybe even some hostile words. And it requires changes - not just in the situation or the people involved but in myself as well.

So be it.  Because the reality of pretending that things will go away is that they never really do.