The problem with exceptions to the program is that at some point, you have to go back to the program.
This is what I'm facing now that the audit has finished. I have to return to my life - which is fine, I'm ready to be back in it - but in order to get there, I have to get back on schedule.
This is the difficult part.
I had realized for many years that I am a creature of plans and schedules. I like to know what is coming up. One of the most annoying things that can happen in my world - The Ravishing Mrs. TB says I get wild eyed when it comes up - is when someone comes up with a spontaneous plan when I've already got my mind set that we're doing something else.
But we're not at the spontaneous at this moment, we're at the point in which we are trying to reconstruct the morning and evening schedule of my life. And what I'm finding is that it is drastically more difficult to get back "into the groove" than I had anticipated. The interesting fact is that it does not take long for me to target - or in my world, lazy.
It suggests two things: either 1) I am really unmotivated or 2) I was fooling myself in what I was doing.
So now the re-evaluation process starts: What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Is it the most important thing I could be doing?
Heady questions for a morning routine, I'm sure. But the underlying theme - what I'm doing with my time - is one I take seriously, as I have come to appreciate more and more that time is in frighteningly short supply compared to all there is to do.
I got at least four things that I usually do done this morning. Tomorrow I'll try for five, and we'll start rebuilding from there. But always in the back of my mind I hear the clock ticking and the questions ring: "Why are you doing this? Is this the best thing you could be doing with your time?"