I think I've reached the limit of my internal CPU.
I acknowledged last night as I drove home from work that I my mind has not been as sharp as of late. Part of it I have been addressing as a lack of sleep (as noted before, a lack of sleep tends to degrade my abilities).
Then it occurred to me as I went that I almost literally spent the entire day being given more tasks to do without actually accomplishing anything. It's as if my mind finally reached the point of saturation and said "No more, I'm done - thank you very much."
Accomplishing tasks is one thing. Using the time we have efficiently and wisely is another. But when one has reached the point where tasks simply come faster than the ability to deal with them, one of two things has occurred: Resources are not what they should be, or the ship is simply sinking faster than you can pump.
The part that I am finding discouraging is the fact that I am taking this as my failure: I'm not doing what I should be doing. I'm not keeping up. I am not trying hard enough. Which if I sit and think about it, simply is not true. Could I use my time more efficiently? Yes, if I wanted to break all interactive ties with the very individuals I'm expected to interact and succeed with.
Ironically, the very people who are the most efficient at any company, often the individuals that rise to senior positions, are the very individuals that are the least liked.
Be efficient? Sure. Be mindful of my time? Absolutely. But consider myself failing because I am not resourced appropriately? Not anymore.
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