Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Confident

Feeling confident today.

Confidence is a odd thing, a cross between something which can appear or disappear without command and a thing which can be willed into existence. It's vital: if I'm confident I can do a great deal; if I'm not, my whole day seems to be troubled. It can be as solid as a steel post or as ephemeral as the fog.

Confidence can be event, project or other people based, but that never seems to carry things through the whole day; if the project goes bad or the event fails or the people let you down, so goes the confidence - and you are left with a gnawing hole that follows you through the rest of the day.

Self-confidence is better yet, but this is sometimes the hardest to capture or generate. If I believe in my ability to do something not because of the project itself but because I believe that I can do it, this overflows into my entire day and life and drastically changes how I view the circumstances in my life.

Best of all (but often the hardest for me) is that confidence that comes from being a child of God, knowing that He loves me unconditionally and that "all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28) - although for me this is often the hardest one of all to believe, as my estimate of myself and my desirability to God is pretty low (see Self-confidence above).

But here I am, feeling confident in my abilities, confident in God's love and workings in my life, confident in myself.

Today will be a good day.

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