Friday, November 19, 2010


My mind seems to be rebelling against me.

I have reached the point where consciously or unconsciously where my mind suddenly seems to "give up" on any progress that I have made. My schedule is thrown off, I wake up late every morning, I have no energy to do anything.

Why is this?

Part of it I'm sure is the fact that I have been pushing my body to its sleep limit. I (as I have written before) am critically aware of the fact that I need a certain amount of sleep and that I haven't quite nailed that amount yet - except that I know when I don't have enough of it.

But part of that seems to run deeper, a sort of mental block that prevents me from going further.

I'm seen it before - with the harp when, after performing for a year and a half, I suddenly (and mysteriously) lost interest; when after studying various parts of history, I suddenly lose interest; when I have started one of any activities and then reach a point when I don't seem to have the interest or energy to go on. It's as if I reach a point and something kicks in saying "Nope, can't go any farther there"- with no evidence as to why I can't.

It bothers me because while I can't make progress on things that interest me or I enjoy, the things I have to do I somehow seem to continue pushing forward on. Why is this?

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