A vague sense of sadness washed over me this morning as I woke up which has not completely disappeared.
I wish I could tie it something, so I could resolve it in my mind. There are things which I could tie it to - layoffs of friends, continuing concern about direction of my career, the general malaise of things at large, even just being tired and it being Thursday - but not one thing, the something I could indicate "Hey, that's it! That's the reason I'm out of sorts."
These sorts of times are the hardest for me to deal with, simply because there is no evident cause. It's not like a depression - those I tend to be quite clear about why they're occurring. It's a sense of something not being right and not knowing what to do about it, of wanting to simply go back to bed, dim the shades, pull the covers up over my head, and hide for the day.
How does one deal with this quiet gentle nagging of the soul which will not go away? Routines do not quell it, writing does not draw it forth, and questioning it brings no clarification. It just hangs there, a gentle misty aggregation of quiet sorrow encompassing my mind and soul, waiting as if to say "I'll answer - if only you'll speak the right words"
But what words can you speak to that which you cannot apprehend?