Me Myself and Phil Vischer

Last night I came home feeling like the poster child for making bad decisions. News again from work that best may be rate limiting, at worst could be much more. Reflecting on the buyout of the previous company for which I worked, doing those numbers (if you've ever left a company that had stock options worth something, you know - you've done the same numbers). The whole thing left me feeling as if I once again failed to make any semblance of a good decision.

Fortunately God, in His grace (or humor) provided me with a resource last night that showed up in the ever popular, ever ready to make me smile Amazon box: Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer. He is the creator of Veggie Tales, an ostensibly children's oriented set of videos teaching Christian values ( I say ostensibly, because I actually love the things - and as Vischer points out, part of their early success was actually college students with odd senses of humor). The book is a sort of business biography about himself and the business that he created, grew, and then lost in 2003 over a 14 year period.

In a nutshell (and it is a super small nutshell - you should really get the book), he had a dream: to build a world class Christian entertainment and media group rivaling that of Disney (Walt was his hero). However, what he found, after the collapse of his dream, was that God's point is never the dream, it is our relationship with Him.

I quote Vischer (ironically, quoting someone else): "'If God gives you a dream, and the dream comes to life and shows up in it, and then the dream dies, it may be that God want to see what is more important to you - the dream or Him. And once he's seen that, you may get your dream back. Or you may not, and you may live out the rest of your life without it. But that will be okay, because you'll have God.'" (p. 235)

or here (quoting Henry Blackaby): "' If you start something and it does not seem to go well, consider carefully that God, on purpose, may not be authenticating what you told the people because it did not come from Him, but from your own head. You may have wanted to do something outstanding for God and forgot that God does not want that. He wants you to be available to Him, and more important, to be obedient to Him.'" (p. 239)

or here (this is actually Vischer): "The Christian life wasn't about running around like a maniac; it was about walking with God. It wasn't about impact, it was about obedience. It wasn't about making stuff up, it was about listening." (p. 243)

and "What is 'walking with God'? Simple. Doing what he asks you to do each and every day. Living in active relationship with him. Filling your mind with his Word, and letting that Word penetrate every waking moment." (p. 243)

As I said, get the book.

So what does this have to do with questioning my life decisions? Simple. What is my dream? what do I have to have instead of God, or am using to do "for God" because I think I need to? (Vischer: "Because God is enough. Just God. And he isn't "enough" because he can make our dreams come true - no, you've got him confused with Santa or Merlin or Oprah." (p. 250)).

Well, the one that leapt to mind based on last night was money. Security as defined by the money in the bank, rather than my relationship with God (Somewhere on the East Coast, as you read this, Otis is nodding his head and saying "Yup. I've been trying to get him to ask this question for weeks now"). This was even true at The Firm. Question: If I had succeeded at the Firm - If I had gone either stayed at my previous job or violated a principle and borrowed money - and I had a modest sum of money sitting in the bank right now, would I be feeling that God is enough? Or would I be feeling confident in my bank account to weather the storm, planning things that I wanted to do and buy (and trust me, there's a list at the back of my mind), maybe planning to do even "bigger" things to "glorify" God?

Don't answer that. I already know the answer.

And that's just one. There's more. I just need to dig deeper.

I've added Vischer's blog to my list there. As a man that has failed and come out on the other side, he's got a lot to say.

Did I mention read or buy his book?