All My Sins Remembered

Ah the Internet, that wonderful invention whereby we can meet those who we had lost track of, sometimes for years.

So I was brought into contact this weekend with an old voice, someone I had not heard from in 20 years. Friendship Interrupted, perhaps (or has this movie been done before?), or some such thing.

Which is odd, because speaking with those you haven't spoken with in years brings up all kinds of things you thought you had forgotten, wrongs you had not remembered, and the wrongs you have. All my sins remembered...

In some cases, they seem to have faded out over time, like the mellowing of harsh colors into a gentle pastel. In some cases, they stare back at you with hollow eyes and accusing fingers, pointing, eyeing you with the eyes of the wronged.

The eyes of the damned.

It reminds me of the importance (oh, how do I know it and hope to pass it on to my children) of thinking through what we do, of all the ramifications. We cannot undo all harms that we did, we can only lament and palliate them. Think, think think!

As the Germans say, why are we old too soon and wise too late? Something about youth and wisdom - or is it that we need to train our children better, to incorporate wisdom into their lives?

I don't know. And it's late. Still, I have the hollow laughter of the past to face me in the dark of my bed tonight.

All my sins remembered...