Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Turning away

There are times in life when your life is like the entry in a blog, blank, the cursor blinking, just waiting for you to start an entry.

There are times in life when you think you need to write, even though you're not really in the mood and not really sure what to write about.

There is a time when the silence of the soul becomes so deafening that the sheer act of trying to distract one's self seems as a sort of self immolation, trying to distract the thought that is hovering at the edge of the conscience that will not seemingly appear.

How odd, this. There is something that I am turning away from - yet I cannot truly tell you what it is. Only that perhaps subconsciously, I am doing everything in my power to distract myself from it.

It damns me, almost. What is this thing that I will not see or hear? I know God is trying to bring it to my attention even as I try valiantly to submerge it beneath waves of not feeling like doing anything or doing anything but that.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9

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