A Year Of Humility (XVII): Self-Praise

 

Of the many struggles I have had over the years with people I have followed, those that praise themselves is not one of them.

Were you to quiz me on this, I fear I could not come up with a really logical answer as to why that is.  It certainly was never a conscious decision on my part.  It is not as if I have not know people that were that way - even in the times before social media, there were plenty of them.  And while I am a fully socially functioning introvert, even I have been aware that I have to "interact" with people.

And yet, self-praisers are not something that have ever attracted me.  In fact, it is something I have found rather repellent.

Again, I cannot fully express to you why this is.  Perhaps it is just the self-centered nature that such conversations seem to become:  all things are bent back around the the individual and what they have done like light vainly trying to escape a black hole.  Perhaps it is the fact that those that often or always praise themselves often seem to have a pretty skewed view as to what their "contributions" have actually been.  Perhaps it is simply that one-sided conversations about one's self are not dialogues but rather monologues - and most of those not nearly as well written as one by Shakespeare.

And yet, I am conscious - oh, so very conscious - that I have the same tendency as well.

The sign that this is usually taking hold in my own life is that I spend the time someone else is speaking to formulate my own answer.  I do not "hear" them, other than as a foil to my own next response.  Another sign is in the subtle physical signs that indicate that someone has started to check out of the conversation.

Another, of course, is simply that I listen to myself and all I hear coming out of my own mouth, to quote a country song, is "What about me?  What about I?"

God cannot flow where the pipes are stuck up with the blockage of my own pride.

C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity said it perhaps most elegantly:

"Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble person he will be what most people call 'humble' nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody.  Probably all you will think of him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him.  If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily.  He will not be thinking about humility; he will not be thinking about himself at all."