So today is "New Employee In The Office" Day.
This is always slightly awkward. I suppose it really is like being a new kid from out of district coming in, something I never experienced except when I started high school. The stares, the uncertain conversations, the "what is this guy going to be like" thoughts that run inevitably through everyone's heads (they sure run through mine when the situation is reversed).
I have the same questions about myself.
Oh, not that I can do the job. I am confident that I am able. There is always that upward slope when one arrives, the learning of not only the what we do here but the people that make it all happen (hopefully not too much to learn there - it is a small company), the assessing of what is and what needs to happen.
My concerns are actually more about myself.
This is one of those rare opportunities that only comes every so often, the change to reinvent one's self. The reality is that no-one knows me - good or bad. Other than my CV, I am a tabula rosa, ready to pen my own figures and illustrations.
There are things that I desire to keep, of course, things that have proven their worth time and time again. But there are other things - baggage I have been carrying around, positions I was put in, wrong decisions that I made, lines that I let be crossed and them having been crossed, could never recover them. All of these now have the opportunity to be remade.
There is nothing but upside potential to look forward to. I need be courageous enough - and steady enough - to take it.
TB - each morning take a deep breath and say "this is a new beginning". this is a chance for you to be the best that you can be. not a new you - but the you that you want your coworkers to meet. and - you want to meet that guy too.
ReplyDeletei told jambaloney when we moved here that we could become whole, brand new people and throw off any of the old. he has always been a courteous and kind man - but because the island is so small and there are only a few shops/garages that we frequent - he is well-known and everyone loves him! then there is the fact that he has the "pirate bandana" on every day. but because he is always patient when being served, always tips the poor gas guy and always frequents the mi'kmaq reserve to get his gas - they all know him, all love him and all give him freebies or discounts.
all of that to say - go be the best of who you are at this new job. no one knows of your previous mistakes and failures - you can be an enigma of grace and kindness. it's all in you - i have read enough about your thoughts to be able to say that confidently.
and also - be confident. you were selected for this position from many other candidates. so they already think you competent. show them just how competent you are. and blow them away with the sheer force of your intelligent perspective and your kindness.
you know i am always rooting for you. and sending love. your friend,
kymber
Thanks Kymber. It is a good reminder. I am trying to be easy on myself instead of trying to feel like I need to get it all done in day one. Slow and steady, learn the lay of the land then start in.
DeleteThe learning curve is going to be steep though - and I have already had to make some calls after one day of work. Not quite what I expected, but all good.
Thanks for your support! - TB