Sigh. And December hits.
And everyone at work suddenly figures out that is the last 3 weeks (effectively) of the year.
I should have predicted that this was coming. It seems to have become a pattern every year at work. But I think something has changed - before I thought it was a random sort of event, the sort of thing that happens and people did not plan for or realize it. But I realized today that this is now as predictable as the fact that the last month of the year is coming.
And I am weary of it. Because it steals my holiday joy.
Christmas for me has become something that is wedged into the last week before it actually occurs, mostly because the three weeks leading up to it are overcome with the panic of individuals and their things that need to get done. I have no sense of the Christmas being upon us - instead, I have the sense of a long tunnel which is entered into on December 1st and from which I come up from air on December 19th or so with maybe six days to celebrate the holiday.
I am tired of this. This is no way to spend Christmas. But how do I combat it?
The only thing I can think of - and this will have to be a conscious decision - is to monitor my own mood. No-one is going to bring me less work or expect their things not to get done. It is upon me to determine my own frame of mind - and my own frame of mind has to be celebrating Christmas, not just on the last week but on all the weeks before.
The longer term plan of course is to find a place where such is not the case, where the end of December is no more rush than any other time of the year because everyone has been working steadily along. And, of course, everyone values Christmas.
Until then, it is up to me. Because the season will not come into my life unless I make a place for it to do so.
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