The Point of Change

How does one begin the process of change?

A fair enough question from someone who feels that his life has become a rut without hope of modification.  All processes begin with an act - the "start" of the flow chart, the "on" button the brings the computer to life, the "In" of the first line of a book.  For every fire that burned, there was spark that set it.

I ask from the position of feeling that I simply have no power to change anything, that I am enmeshed in a series of webs which prevent me from making any action at all - to the point that even my thoughts seem to be pulled back as if with a rubber band if they make the least attempt to escape.  It's not even big change - even the small ones at this point seem beyond the reach of my imagination, let alone my actualization.  I feel trapped in a life which I seem to live, but over which I have no control - like being on a plane with autopilot, knowing the destination has been set by someone else and not knowing where you are headed. 

Or even, worse, knowing where you are headed and dreading every minute of it.

But I need to find a point of initiation - a point to start.   Something that I can say "Yesterday I did this.  Today, I did this."

And it  has to be small as well - something that I can point to and say "look, I made a change" and actually make the change, rather than a large scale change which I have no power or ability to even begin at this moment.  One will empower me to move further, the other will simply depress my hopes even more.

And change in a direction.  Not just change for the sake of change, but change for the sake of getting something accomplished.  Change for the purpose of accomplishing more.

I need to find the point of change because my life has become defined by others.  Not just by my responsibilities that I have chosen, but by others who have helped me build the webs in which I find myself enmeshed.  I need to discover a way to cut away these webs, to get back on a now-overgrown road mapped out years ago that led somewhere different than where I have ended.