Family Goals

The Ravishing Mrs. TB and I were talking, among other things, about goals for our family - and how we don't seem to have any.

It's a bit of a bizarre thing to consider - your family is, by default, something you spend much of your time immersed in, sort of like a fish living in the very thing that he breathes and draws nourishment from: he doesn't think of it as something outside of the way he lives every day. And sometimes we get so busy with what we think family goals are - earning a good living, having well behaved children, praying on a regular basis, spending "time" with our spouse - that we forget those are really activities, not goals to achieve; metrics, if you will, of "how" we're doing, not "what "we're doing.

The next curious thing is that even if we have goals, we may have them only internally to ourselves while thinking that they are best for the family. A goal is not a goal - really - unless all the participating parties are invested in it. I can say "I'd like to go to Disneyland" but unless everyone agrees and thereby makes the sacrifices to make it happen, it won't happen - even though I want it to and will act in my own way to see it fulfilled.

The final curious thing is that it's not something that is widely thought, I think. Businesses have goals, individuals have personal goals - but families often seem exempt or immune from this idea that "unless you know where you're going, you'll never get there". This is one thing I appreciate about Stephen Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He emphasizes goals ("Begin with the end in mind") not only for individuals, but for families as well.

So your family goals? Got them? Know them? Have written them down?