Friday, October 31, 2008


The end of the year is starting to stare me in the face. I know it's only the end of October, and I know that we've still two months, but let's be honest: between Thanksgiving and Christmas, there's really only about a month of usable time between now and then.

The thing that this reminds me of is commitment. This was one of the things that was a big point of discussion at the seminar we went to in June: commitment. First of all, keeping commitments to yourself, and second of all, keeping commitments to others.

The part that has always given me great trouble is actually keeping commitments to myself. Others are not so difficult: I tend to do it out of a sense of shame, if not from a concern about keeping my word. But the ones to myself are far more likely to slide off, as I have been making excuses to myself about myself all my life.

But the commitments to myself are often the ones that are the most critical. Spiritual commitments, to pray or study or push on to be more Christlike, are always between God - and myself. Items like health, accomplishing small tasks which need to be done or even the big ones that need to be done, are always in the end a commitment to myself to do them.

How am I doing with them?

For most, unfortunately, not well - and largely because I don't really believe that they are that important. Why? Because I have so trained myself (largely through the process of schooling) that actions equal results, or should. But for so many of the personal commitments, the results are not necessarily visible, if perhaps at all - and trying to tie them to something outside of one's self, like saying is either ineffective or downright dangerous, as it mentally may put me in a position I shouldn't be in.

How do you motivate? How do you stop lying to yourself?

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