Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Why Don't I Desire God More?

Why don't I desire God more?

I'm re-reading Safely Home by Randy Alcorn for the second or third time.  For those that haven't read it, it's a novel based on the experience of the persecuted home church movement in China.  While it is a work of fiction, it is based on the experiences of the actual church.

To read it is to read of things that I simply have no point of reference for:  persecution, arrest, physical harm, the Bible being illegal if not registered, of meeting in fear of being caught.  At the same time, it's also to read of things which I wish I had a point of reference to but also seem to have none:  powerful prayer, a real sense of God in one's life, the true commitment and understanding of the cost of being a Christian, a passion for evangelism (here, I fall very short).

Which brings me back to the original question:  why don't I desire God more?

Am I not fully convinced of the reality of sin? Is it that I am not (or never was) completely hopeless about how that sin was to be purged?  Is it that I am to concerned with the things of this life - not just the physical things, but my physical and mental well being?  Is it because my own plans are more dear to me than God?

Is it simple selfishness? 

And all that being true, how do I desire God more?

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