Monday, February 21, 2011

Sleep Deprived.

Another wretched night in bed. I'm not sure anymore why I can't sleep anymore - it used to be only Sunday nights, but now it is spreading itself out to every night of the week. I tossed and turned, evacuated the bed when Nighean Dhonn came in because of a scary dream and relocated, tried relaxing, even didn't try to wake up at my normal time.

Not good. I still feel completely exhausted.

On the one hand I suppose it's okay - I've learned to be semi-functional on a surprisingly low amount of sleep. I know it's not as functional as I should be, but I can certainly make it through the day.

I'm not sure if this is a relic of other stresses in my life, or sleeping much more lightly than I used to, or even something as simple as diet. All I know is that I am sitting here once again on less and less sleep, trying to make a run at making it through another week.

This may sound a bit self serving. It's not meant too. I'm just frustrated -frustrated beyond belief that my sleep continues to escape me (seemingly for good?), while the fact that life goes on approaches day after day and expects me, tired or not, to continue to function at something near 100% efficiency.

I dream (funny choice of words) of a day, or time when I can get full nights of restful sleep and awake to the morning fully conscious and alive, full of energy, my brain not fuzzy. Until that day here I'll be, trying to find the energy deep within to keep my eyes open and my brain functioning to make the best of this day.

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