Another blazing light in the trail of things that are/are not important to me in a career: I don't like living in fear.
Not the general fear of business, you understand. The fear of the market, the fear of not making payroll, the fear of being laid off (although see below). These are all just part and parcel of the whole employment experience.
No, the fear I'm referring to is that fear of not performing well and being let go. Not performing well? Surely you jest - after all, I've never had a less than good review, and am generally respected and liked by my coworkers. Surely I can't be referring to me?
But I am. There is a sense at my current employment, something I've not (ever) sensed before, of always being on the radar, of the good not being recalled and the bad being emphasized, of being one step away from receiving a box for your personal things. In a kind of small way, it feels like The Terror in Jacobin France, never knowing at what hour one could get dragged away.
But to be fair, maybe feeding into this is the fear of layoff. I am surprised at the visceral reaction I have to the concept of another layoff. I understand it could happen, but there is again almost a sense of sheer terror when I contemplate it. Part of that, I suppose, is due to to where we are, which is not in a nearly as good position as in January - and the ramifications of that. But the other is a sense of helplessness that stems from the fact that it may happen again, and I can do nothing about it.
So what? Well, I think it means that I need to pay attention to another two things when I am considering a job or any career:
1) What is the history of the company? Is there open communication? Recent departures? How many and why?
2) What is the state of this industry and the company? Position of strength or weakness? What do they do and is there a demand for the next five years? Have they had layoffs, or their industry? Why?
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