Life Change

So I'm in the process of considering a life change - something drastic, something I've done before. And I'm finding I'm not all that enthused about the opportunity.

Enthused, I suppose, in the sense that although I want a change, both the thought of arranging to make the change as well as the change itself are almost burdensome to me. Which means one of two things: 1) I'm lazy, or 2) I'm not really interested in the change.

Part of it, I suppose, is that I have made changes like this in the past, and I know what the outcome is: yes, you reap some different benefits of the change, but in reality, in 6 months things will be largely as they were before.

Part of it too is that I have had a habit of changing almost randomly, which usually works out for the best - but at some point, you have to stay in things for the long haul. One can't change anything every few years - churches, relationships, houses, jobs - without it eventually creating a sense of disconnectedness with the thing in question.

My father lived in the same house for 30 plus years, had the same job for 32, and is still married to my mother (40+, of which we are all quite happy). I know he didn't always enjoy the job, and I'm sure wanted a bigger house from time to time - but that certainly gave me a sense of belonging somewhere. It also, as I look at it now, should serve as an inspiration to be diligent and focused in my career - again, I'm sure there are many days my father did not want to get up and go do the same thing over again, and again, but he did. Now, he reaps the rewards of it.

Change is not always what it was cracked up to be...