Thursday, May 25, 2017

Where's My Why?

One of the starting points that virtually every book on success will tell you (and I have read more than my fair share) is that you have to a "Why", a reason that you are trying to accomplish what it is that you are about.  With the "Why", every difficulty, every challenge can be pushed through; without it, almost any activity is doomed to failure because that underlying incentive is not there.

I have realized that I have lost my Why.

I am not really sure where it went, or even how long it has really been gone.  I am certainly aware that it is no longer operative in my life.

It is not the same as a rut: a rut is just doing the same thing every day until you have worn a trail through your daily life.  No, it is the thing that should have motivated you to get out of the rut in the first place or the incentive that keeps it from becoming a rut as you move on towards something else.

Oh, I could come up with things to fill the gap that exists:  "Serve God", "Save the _____", "Do ___" - but they would simply be that, place fillers rather than something to spark my soul into action.  Which hardly seems like a better solution.

How does one even go about rediscovering a Why?  Maybe it felt like it was easier when I was younger; now, with responsibilities and timelines it feels as my Why has been reduced to meeting the responsibilities and lives of others (which to be clear, in some fashion I did sign up for).

I do not quite know how to find my why.  I just know that I really, really need to find it.  Because without that spark, mediocrity becomes all too easy.


PeteForester1 said...

Ask God, and wait for the answer. 'Sounds simplistic and cliche, but it's the truth. Heck; Moses wandered in the desert for forty years! You can bet he was asking "Why?" Some of us (myself included) may never actually know "why" we exist until the end. Knowing that God has a purpose for you sometimes needs to be enough to go on.

Rain said...

Hi TB, I know what you mean. I'm 49, and I've been talking about home ownership for a decade. I thought I had my "why" but in retrospect, it wasn't a strong enough "why" for me to change things in order to reach my goal. And being brutally honest, I only really found that "why" this year. I wasn't ready to give up everything that made me feel comfortable in order to save money and reduce debt. I didn't really curb my spending, and I often applied for more credit, all the while wondering when I'd take my goal seriously, what I had to do, what I had to "find" in order to pursue this dream on a real level and not just all talk.

But this year it just happened. I somehow found that "why". It's the same goal, but somehow I am super serious about it now and it's a goal that'll be realized because I swiftly made lots of changes starting last autumn and have stuck to them.

I don't know what happened or if I did anything in particular to light the spark...but I got to a point where I was ready I guess. I'm sure this doesn't help you much.

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

It actually does, Rain. It is exactly what I am talking about - in action. It comforts me to know that it is not necessarily tied to some big event; it can be as simple as a change in the state of mind.

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

Good point Pete. Moses is not a bad example in that regard - 40 years of nothing after you thought you were called to something.