Yesterday was a discouraging day.
It was discouraging on two fronts. The first was the realization that, in order to bring documents into compliance, I would have to go through 105 documents, figure out their status, and get them revised. This involves, on a simple move, working through 5 different computer screens and three different folders. To give you a scope of the time involved - because our system is really not all that efficient - it took me 3 hours to figure out the status of 8 documents and get them moving appropriately. By that math, I only have 37 hours left of working with the system to get the documents moving - and that is just moving. All of them will still have to be reviewed, formatted, and signed off on.
The second was the realization that a Key Performance Indicator, one that has trended within specification for well over a year, has suddenly fallen off during the last quarter. This is not a good thing. Not only will I have to conduct an investigation to figure out what it is up, it will mean additional meetings and follow up (my guess - going to two meetings a week on this subject instead of one). Yes, the system is processing more - which means we are catching more, which is a good thing -but it appears that the system is also failing.
These are not the droids I was looking for.
I left feeling discouraged and defeated - discouraged because the work that people and systems are supposed to do has fallen upon me (and it may be assumed, is thought that it will be done by me), defeated because it feels as if any attempts at progress are ultimately futile; in the event of a failure, the work simples rolls back to me.
I will go in of course tomorrow and start over - I have blocked out large portions of the next three days to complete my tasks to ensure that the work will get done. What bothers me, in my heart of hearts, is the simple and inescapable fact that even if this all gets done and moved forward, in the end it simple will be rolled up and disappear into the atmosphere as if it had never existed.
I long for more meaning from my employment.