There is the distinct sense in my life at the moment that things are moving more quickly than ever. Time seems to be a commodity that has rapidly disappeared as an item which is present in my life.
When did this happen?
I am not really sure. I seem to remember (as through a hazy mirror) years in which time seemed to be always available to me to do the things that I wanted. Even more recently, time seemed to be something that was available in at least small chunks for spending on things that I might want to do.
Unfortunately, this is no longer the case. Time is now the thing that I always seem to be running behind, trying to capture more of.
The argument can be made (I suppose) that workday time is simply scarcer because there is more to do. That could be true -the combination of a great deal of activities combined with a commute that seems to take longer has stretched a 9 hour day into 10 hours or more - and even those hours are now filled more and more with meetings to do and places to be and things that need to be accomplished.
But my non-work time? This too has become compressed into smaller and smaller quantities for reasons that I cannot seem to understand, to the point that it almost feels there is a schedule running somewhere in the back of my mind to get those things that I would like to do done. Even 5 minutes doing something can be begrudged when something else I really want to do is not accomplished.
Where does this end?
I wish I knew. I suppose I keeping hoping that I will reach a point of stasis or even reversal, that at some point the business will start to subside and I can begin to get a handle on managing my time and perhaps even beginning to do some of the things I want again.
But if my time has slipped away through circumstances I do not understand and cannot control, what are the chances that those same circumstances will suddenly - magically - allow me to slow down?