Cubed

Yesterday I relocated back to a cube.

This has been part of a larger move which will eventually see large portions of my area relocating to one space or another, a sort of corporate periodic migration which seems to occur from time to time as, driven by the call of efficiency or a new reporting structure or perhaps even just a fancy, people are uprooted from one workplace and move to another.

It's also odd because this will be the first time in almost 4 years that I've been in a cube - and many years longer since I've shared one with someone else.

I will not lie and say that it was not a bit odd yesterday.  It is odd to move your stuff from where you've been for almost four years - almost a cocoon of sorts, your safe office - to a place which is much smaller and where you feel much more exposed - in my case now, with my back to the entrance.  And even after you spend the hour readjusting your computer and your screens to get them right - although they won't really be right for another week or so - working there still seems odd:  what creatures of habit we become, that the perception of what is around our computer screen can affect how we work.  And the ambient noise is the most disturbing of all:  I went from no noise at all to the chatter of individuals around me, the hum of pieces of equipment I don't recognize, and the occasional "SLAM" of the door going outside as people leave.

It is not that the change bothers me per se, I suppose - I've maintained for a long time that work is not my home and wherever I sit is merely the location I happen to be at to do my work.  And supposedly good things will come out of this at the end, a reorganization that will make things more efficient.  The thing that does nag on me is the horrible sense that somehow I have been effectively demoted in the eyes of others - perhaps sort of a continuing sense that I - and my function - are considered to be of less importance than they were before.

The saddest part I suppose is the fact of moving from where I was.  There are a great many memories tied up in that office.  I spent time there rebuilding the understanding of QA by being a location for others to come and talk. At one time three of us were placed in tight quarters in that area; the camaraderie that was built there still lingers to this day.  Tears were shed, decisions to leave were made, in some cases lives really were affected in that office.  That part is gone now, dispersed to cubes with walls that fall short of the ceiling and doors that don't exist, a blip in the history of the company that has now passed with the wind.  

I am sure that I will get over such things - I always manage to and after all, nothing is forever.  Still, there is a lingering sense this morning that something has changed - something that was unique not just about where we were but how related - and that it will never be the same.

It will be much more like...work.