Thursday, July 12, 2012


How does one make a change to one's life when one has no idea what that change should be?

This is sense I have of things right now, as I sit and read God's word, meditate, pray, read and ponder.

I feel stuck - not trapped necessarily, just stuck, as if I were in a mud pit that I have little or no chance of pulling myself out of yet do not seem to be sinking further.

We've agreed, I think, that hope is not alone sufficient to get me out of this.  It takes achievement, of course - but achievement without direction is no more productive that hitting nails into a board on the ground:  without knowing what the board is meant to do and where the nails are meant to go, it's activity that accomplishes nothing.

There are ways in which I feel straitjacketed by choices, without a sense that I can make a choice that will significantly improve my situation.  It's having no really good choices even as the choices you have made are not really contributing.

I keep thinking that I need some kind of epiphany, some kind of break-out thought that will give me this direction and the change I need.  But nothing seems to come through:  a sort of blank, empty canvas continues to roll before eyes with nothing on it.

How does one break out of one's mindset and seeing to the perception and hope (there, I've said it) that one needs to inform the achievement one needs to make to alter one's life?

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