A week of work reflections comes down to this: Do I love my job? Do I love my career field?
Do I love my job? - No. Do I dislike this job more than any other I've had, at least in my field? Not sure. In some ways yes, in some ways no. Some of the friends I have made through my coworkers are great - and are the only things making the days bearable. But on the whole? No. If I were rating this job as an outsider rating a marriage, I would wonder that it wasn't a shotgun marriage (which in some ways it was).
Do I love my career field? - Harder to say. Can I make a contribution? Yes, given the right circumstances. Am I good at what I do? Depends on what your asking. I'm skilled, yes - but I could become more so. Given the right circumstances I can be incredibly productive and incredibly useful. But does my pulse quicken at the thought of "getting" to go to this career field in the morning? Nope. Not at all - more to see the people than anything else.
So why do I keep looking here? (Insanity - continuing to do the same thing and expect a different result.) Force of habit - or force of fear? Or is it simply the laziness that says it's easier to lie down and die by the shrinking waterhole because that's what we know rather than risk seeking other waterholes elsewhere?
We will not change until the pain of change is less than the pain of continuing in our current situation.