Friday, December 02, 2016

More Friends, Less Friendship

 One of the larger differences I have noticed since I switched jobs is how my friendship quotient seems to have dropped a great deal.

The good thing about working with one's, well, you work with your friends. You get to spend 8+ hours a day in the company of people you actually enjoy. Work becomes, if not a little easier, at least a little more enjoyable.

It all holds together, of course, until you leave that job. Then, just like countless other times in school or college, you get busy and they get busy and suddenly there is a gap which usually keeps expanding. What is annoying and a little concerning is that I find that this gap has expanded to encompass larger portions of my life.

Some of it is due to distance, some to activities that meet only certain times of the year. The outcome has been the same – in some ways, I have not felt this lack of deep friendships in some time.

Oddly enough, I am “friended” up on a certain social network site. Which is nice - I actually probably know more people than I ever have and probably interact with more folks than I have in many years. But that deep level of friendship, those hours of conversations, those shared experiences and stories – all lacking at the moment.

A fair amount involves me, I am sure. Just with work and family, I have become as inaccessible as I may have ever been, which matters for friendship. And I certainly respect (now more than ever) the boundaries of others with their families and their work and their own lives. But the margins seem increasingly thin looking forward.

I would like to say I believe this will change but I am unsure how, given that I do not see the catalyst for that change: I will continue to work where I work and have the hours that I have and have the family I have with things wedged in at the edges. Given that, where does such a thing pop up?


LindaG said...

When the Zombie apocalypse happens, I may become easier to make deep friendships. Or people may become more isolationist. If the electric grid fails, friendships may become a matter of survival; but then you'll have to be more careful.

Sorry. I always feel like I have to comment. Sometimes people just think better putting their thoughts down. (I was thinking down on paper, but we mostly don't do that any more, do we?)

You and your family have a blessed weekend.

Toirdhealbheach Beucail said...

Comments are always welcome.

I think it would be easier, given the circumstances that I suspect most communication will be limited to physical exchange. So much of what I wrote of above is predicated on electronic communications.

LindaG said...

Yup. I knew that. And I will miss my online friends when and if the electronics die; but I will remember you in my prayers.

Have a blessed Sunday.