What, wonders Greg McKeown as he nears the end of his book, has Essentialist offered him?
More Clarity: "As you continue to clean out the closet of your life, you will experience a reordering of what really matters. Life will become less about efficiently crossing off what was on your to-do list or rushing through everything on your schedule and more about changing what you put on there in the first place. Every day it becomes more clear than the day before how essential things are so much more important than the next most important thing in line. As a result, the execution of those essentials becomes more and more effortless."
More Control: "You will gain confidence in your ability to pause, push back, or not rush in. You will feel less and less a function of other people's to-do lists and agendas. Remember that if you don't prioritize your own life someone else will. But if you are determined to prioritize your own life you can. The power is yours. It is within you."
More Joy In The Journey: "With the focus on what truly is important right now comes the ability to live life more fully, in the moment. For me, being more present in the moment has been making joyful memories that would not otherwise exists. I smile more. I value simplicity. I am more joyful.
As the Dalai Lama, another true Essentialist, has said: 'If one's life is simple, contentment has to come. Simplicity is extremely important for happiness.'"
McKeown closes this chapter with the story of a father whose three year old daughter died. As he put together a video of her life, he realized that it was not they had not gone on outings and trips, it was that he had no pictures of his daughter. He was so busy capturing the scenery, the meals, the views, that he missed the essential thing.
This thought, says McKeown represents two of the personal learnings from the writing of the book Essentialism. The first is how important his family is to him and how everything else fades in importance. The second how short our time is on this earth and what a challenge it is to use that time - "precious - and precious is perhaps too insipid a word" - to spend on the essentials.
The Essentialists recognizes that time and mortality are real - and that both are short.
McKeown closes with the following:
"Will you chose to live a life of purpose and meaning, or will you look back on your one single life with twinges of regret? If you take one thing away from this book, I hope you will remember this: whatever decision or challenge or crossroads you face in life, simply ask yourself, 'What is essential?" Eliminate everything else.
If you are ready to look inside yourself for the answer to this question, then you are ready to commit to the way of the Essentialist."
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On the Computer In My Pocket, I have added a countdown timer. A Death Countdown timer.
I have averaged the lifespans of my maternal and paternal grandfathers and TB The Elder (who seems the most relevant) and put in a number. Every day now, the calendar counts down towards that identified date.
Yes, of course I am cognizant of the fact that I could die tomorrow or five years from now. But I need something that focuses the mind in a way more meaningful than that. A fixed, estimated date has helped that.
When I get frustrated now, or feel stressed or too many tasks come at me, I pull out the timer and look at it. There is not a lot of time on that calendar. And then I ask myself "Is this really worth it?"
At least one of my coworkers says I talk about death too much. But I will also note in our conversations, she has started to be willing to take more time off and not worry about work so much.
I may not be an Essentialist, but hopefully I am on my way.
My takeaway is that essentialism is not an exercise one does, but a life discipline.
ReplyDeleteI agree getting older helps a lot. For myself, I think I'm finally at a point where I can say, 'I would just like to enjoy everything we've worked for.'
Leigh, I think that is the conclusion that McKeown comes to as well, although I think he cleverly starts out with the idea and then expands it into a lifestyle.
DeleteThe older side offers a lot of clarity. To be honest, I more frequently ask the question "Precisely how much longer do I have to work at a "job"?" Knowing what I now know about the industry, the fact that 90% of this work will disappear without a trace makes it hard to stay enthused or feel one is performing essential work.
There is nothing better than our approaching death to focus us on what is essential. I see a lot of people approach essentialism as their "countdown timers" approach zero, mine included.
ReplyDeleteEd, it has certainly changed my own view.
DeleteI think the sad part is people for whom this does not seem to take until it is literally too late.
Tick-tock......tick-tock.....using that timer TB, well, whatever works for you. Indeed Family Time is BEST Time, too many take that for granted and getting older gets you to focus on the End getting closer. Welcome to the club.......:)
ReplyDeleteNylon12 - For me, this has been a remarkably clarifying tool. To McKeown's point, if you do not fill in that time, someone else will.
DeleteIf this is a club, I feel like club t-shirts are in order.
Don't sit and wonder if you will be like mom and dad or aunt or uncle. Do a DNA test with the health info. Son decided we all needed to do this. Amazing what came back. I am 3% neanderthal and a % of a maternal line of women going way back. Have a friend who has parents die of Parkinson, Alzheimer, sister died of ALS and other brother has advanced Alzheimer. She doesn't want to know. But that's not me I want to know. Knowledge is better that thinking because of relatives you only have X number of years.
ReplyDeleteAnon - I have certainly thought about it, but any genetic test is not completely confirmative. Given that my mother suffered from Alzheimer's, I estimate my chance there as greater than the average population. But as you point out, there is some value in knowing. My fear is that a possibility that does not manifest becomes a controlling concern.
DeleteI'm going to disagree with you.. My aunt had dementia/Alzheimer, my mother and her sister had the same. My grandmother, aunt and my mother all had cancer. On paper it looks like I'm a shoo in for one of them. All died in 60's and 70's. Well here I am with a DNA results that shows I have no reason to have any of their disease. And now here I am in my mid eighties taking care of a friend who has advanced Alzheimer. And as my kids says "she's out gallivanting around".
Delete