Readers may recall that approximately two months ago on Produce (A)Isle, we received an update (arguably an upgrade) in our music selection: we moved from "Modern Pop Music" to Music of the 1980's ( e.g., music of my youth).
The change was welcome then and remains welcome. It is nice to fill my mind with songs I can sing along to (at least in my head) as I bustle about the fruits and vegetables. Generally speaking they are all upbeat songs as well, which does give a skip to my step upon occasion.
One of the fine things about any sort of nostalgia such as this is the remembering of things that had become crowded out of my mind. Songs I have not thought of in 35 years pop back into my mind suddenly as if it were yesterday - and oddly enough, with almost all of the lyrics intact.
A sub-genre that I had forgotten about but has made a strong reappearance into the lineup are what I will call the Romantic Rock Ballad. I do not think that is an actual category, but the songs are similar enough in sound and sense and feeling that they serve to form their own genre: wistful songs about unrequired love and plans to make said love requited filled with power chords, drums, and soaring melodies as we reach the apex. REO Speedwagon, Survivor, Icehouse, Journey, Styx - they all find their place in the lexicon of my mind from so many years ago.
As I listen to this songs, they stir in me feelings of 40 + years ago, feelings I had somehow thought were dead: that silly, hopeless romantic fellow that really believe in the lyrics of the songs. It is nice to revisit those feelings - but it makes me sad as well. Where, I wonder as those songs pass by, did that fellow go?
Oh, I know part of where he went. The link above tells the tale, but the short version is that it got almost brutally ripped out of him, his heart hurled to the floor and broken. What was left...is largely what remains today. Which has its own advantages certainly, but is also in some ways much less than that individual was.
He had hope. He had a clear sight on nobility and romance and right, and seemed to really believe that the best could occur. Almost belying my current state, he was far more of an optimist than I was. He was also - if the reminiscing tells me anything - a sometimes more happier fellow.
It has taken me this long to realize I miss him.
Can he come back? Hard to say really; 40 years is a long time to be away and even if he were back, would he be able to deal with the world and the situations that I find myself in with the same sort of aplomb and gung ho spirit that he had back then? I do not really know.
I only know this: when I hear those songs, something stirs in my heart, something I have not felt in more years than I care to admit. Something beyond the ordinary that I live, something almost on a higher plane of existing, of being more alive than I feel 98% of the time anymore. Something that makes me hungry for an existence above what I feel that life has become, a day to day grind in mediocrity and ambitions emptied of all but their practical aspects.
Interesting post. I can relate. I daresay that the daily grind has the same affect on everyone, but I wonder if we didn't have the advantage of a different world to grow up in than kids do today. I'd say it was easier to be hopeful 40 years ago, but now we seem to be constantly bombarded with doom, gloom, and chaos.
ReplyDeleteHang on to that fellow if you can. Perhaps he's the hero of a yet to be written story.
Leigh, I think you have the right of it. My "memory" of the sorts of things that young people hear about and see on a daily basis was minimal except for the really big things that intruded; I also think there was likely a practice by my parents and other adults to keep "the world out" as it were. Childhood was a separate thing; now it seems to be something to rushed through as quickly as possible.
DeleteFrankly, I am thrilled to find he is still there at all. I am trying to figure out how to fan those flames to bring him back to life.
"Don't stop believing..."
ReplyDeleteFunny side story: This was done as part of Nighean Dhonn's last choir performance as an audience sing along. We all knew the words - except Nighean Bhan's fiancee. I assumed everyone knew the words. This was almost a reason to ask for a reconsideration...
DeleteWhen Sirius offered a three-year sub for 99 bucks for the vehicle I took them up on it, when it expired I passed on all the numerous offers for 5 bucks a month. After three years they offered it again and now I can drive around on errands listening songs of the 80s again. Those songs wash away the years TB, like you wrote, that younger unjaded fellow appears for a bit.
ReplyDeleteNylon12, The Outdoorsman has the same thing for the New Wave station, which bridges over my time in music a bit - but I sure seem to a lot of New Wave songs. As you say, the years wash away.
DeleteThis post, at least the first half, brought me to a happy place! Rock Ballads, an actual genre since I have several compilation CD's with that written upon them, were one of my favorites for the reasons you mentioned. It stirred something in me. I've always thought it was just because I really appreciated the music since I grew up without a television and music WAS my entertainment... well that and books.
ReplyDeleteAs for the second half, I think the reason for change is because in our youths, we were always seeking love. We didn't know what love was other than those songs. As we aged, fell in love, and married, we realized that love can take the form of many things that we never thought about in our youth. A simple slice of freshly baked bread, buttered and given to me on a plate by my wife without me even asking because she knows me is a form of love. Me sensing built up stress and getting a bouquet of lilies, her favorite flowers to surprise her when she gets home is a form of love. All things I never knew as a kid when I was seeking it from high gear.
So I think that person is still inside me and present, but just has a deeper, much more nuanced, version of love compared to my teenage self.
FWIW - When I See You Smile by Bad English always gets to me, even now.
Ed, I am sure every musical genre has its ballad equivalent. The Rock Ballad was something special.
DeleteIt is an interesting point you raise. There is a shallowness to understanding of love at that stage, an awkwardness and (perhaps years ago) a sort of innocence. The depths comes later, as you say - and in some ways looking back, that sort of love was probably rather exhausting!
Still for all its current depth, there are aspects that I miss.
The Search is Over (Survivor) and In My Dreams (REO Speedwagon) - all the feels.
It's hard to be an optimist these days.
ReplyDeleteA lifetime of experiences that young people today may nat have or want to have, depending on their upbringing.
I didn't have your experiences so I can't relate as I married my love and grew older with him, in spite of our military service which many people told us would make it hard to stay together.
Enjoy the good things the music gives you and hopefully time will make the rest easier.
You all be safe and God bless.
Linda, it is a struggle - which likely makes it all the more important for us to find all the good we can in things.
DeleteThe music certainly does bring back some happy memories.