To go grey, at some level, is to be alone.
We are not only noticed and judged by who we are and appear to be to the world, but by who we keep company with out. Hang out with people enough and their beliefs, views, and opinions will be attributed to you - whether you hold them or not.
And so everything is not only what you do, but those with whom you associate with do.
Take even this blog. Go to my blog list to the right and read some of them. Follow the comments for those who comment on those blogs or comment on this one. Rather rapidly, you can form an opinion without having read a single one of my blog entries (mind you, we treasure the blog roll. They are there for a reason, as are the comments everyone posts.)
How does going gray fit into my own world? For lack of a more elegant term, it is "Be a presence, but not much of one".
I have friends in "the real world" - but my comments and interactions with them are managed to a very few - a very few - with whom I am 100% open. To all others, I am 'Hail Fellow, Well Met". Most of interactions are electronic and virtual anyway, so my disappearing for days or weeks at a a time is very "normal".
In others words, I know a fair amount of people, but do not stick out in any way in my associations with them.
To the rest of the world, I occasionally post motivational posters and sometimes greetings. But that is about all.
To those few (and probably on the blog as well), I am as honest and up front as I can be. To all others, I remain a pleasant face, a supportive presence, someone who appears for a bit and then retreats back into the background chatter of life.
I am, indeed, a vibrant person as are most. I just choose where to display it very carefully.
Well said... and oh so true. :-)
ReplyDeleteNow days, sadly, that is probably for the best.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
To be grey is to blend in; not to be alone.
ReplyDeleteTo be grey is not to drive a Ferrari in a town where the pickup truck is king.
To be grey is to NOT tell your friends what you have on hand if the SHTF.
To be grey is to state your case at the city council meetings quietly and eloquently, and then to sink back into the gallery, not to be seen again.
To be grey is to be known by the people of your town, but not known FOR anything but being one of the people in your town.
To be grey is to live in such a manner that your name isn't on the sheriff's short list of "usual suspects."
To be grey is to not live like everyone else, but to look like you do. It's that simple...
This way of living won us the Revolutionary war against the strongest army and navy of its day.
So... keep a low profile and if necessary, be ready to fight dirty!
Thanks Hobo! It is somewhat surprising (and sad) to me that trying to be private is a thing now.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I think in a lot of ways it is true. Not like the old days, for sure.
ReplyDeleteTrue to all you say Pete. The added complication these day is that everyone's online presence (and we almost have one now) plays into this in ways most of us have never foreseen. If you have friends or acquaintances on-line, they figure into the algorithms that can be used to tag you as this or that. I can blend in as much as I want in "the real world" and get by just as you have said; I can still be tagged as "difficult" or "a rabble rouser" by the acquaintances I have online that the company they keep.
ReplyDeleteIt is just much more complicated than it used to be. And do not get me started about how much I appear in surveillance cameras through no fault of my own but just by being places...
I'm the same way TB. I really choose what I display about myself in public. I don't have "real life" friends, kind of on purpose. I got tired of the crowd I was with because it's true, you are associated with those you hang out with and their behaviour. They were all confirmed bar flies. Even if I didn't drink when I went out with them, I was judged for their loud obnoxious behaviour so I left them all behind - many years ago. It's like a reverse clique in a way if you don't want to be judged for the crowd's behaviour! Better off retreating, that's my opinion. But I do it out of desire to be alone. The gray part...well, I started going gray when I was 19 years old! I'm so grateful for hair dye! :)
ReplyDeleteRain, what a great analogy - "A reverse clique". I will borrow it for sure!
ReplyDeleteI started going gray around the same time. It has only accelerated - although I am told it looks "distinguished"...
I ( once again ) find your words ringing true..not just this point. My family and friends do not know about my own blog. At first it was a work in progress..then I realised I liked the privacy and ( if I ever chose to ) could be as honest as I liked without consequences to my circles of friends/workers/family. Much of my own worldviews are not popular and I tend to keep my views to myself for the last 10 years..mostly due to the fact that I am continually met with the impenetrable wall of '..so you are right and the rest of society is wrong?'..such a discussion killer...which makes me want to discuss topics even less.
ReplyDeleteEGB - Great minds thinking alike then!
ReplyDeleteAt one time I let certain folks know that I wrote this. Over time, I think most of them do not remember or even if they do, their lives have been subsumed by other things (My father reads regularly, but that is largely because I am his son).
I do like the privacy. You are correct that it gives you the freedom to think, to ponder, to explore without immediately being shut down or constantly having to defend or explain yourself.
The only thing I try to honor is that with the privacy I never make personal attacks and try (anyway) to not allow myself to attack people in general, just philosophies and world views. To do otherwise would be to be part of the very nasty part of social media that I despise.