This wandered across my consciousness this weekend. I looked at it, thought it was rather useful, and sent it along to others,
And then, I actually started to think about it. What a devastatingly profound statement.
Christians, of course, are familiar with the concept of this: "We are buried with Christ in His death, we are raised with Him into newness of life" we say in some form or fashion every Sunday. But we make the rather painful mistake of not realizing it applies to every aspect of our life.
It works this way in Nature, of course: the tadpole surrenders it life to the frog, the caterpillar surrenders its life to the butterfly. The change in nature - indeed, the change in form - is something that we have actually embraced and use as a symbol of the newness of life, of the ability to change.
We forget that, much like Cortes and his ships, they have burned everything and have no choice but to move forward.
It is true of us as well.
The simple - and rather painful - reality is that when we make a life change, be it by choice or forced, it eventually costs us our old one.
Oh, we may not think so at first: we continue to maintain the relationships, do the activities, and believe that somehow we are continuing to bridge the gap between the two. But time, that revelator of all things, eventually points out a very simple fact: Just as we cannot be in two places at once, neither can we have two lives at once. It is either the old or the new.
It is true of me, of course. 10 years ago this year, we moved from Old Home to New Home. The move did change our lives - in many good ways of course, but along with the good came the bad. Our old lives - old church, old friends, old activities, old contacts - faded into the mirror as we continued to move forward into the new.
Even now, I continue to change - as I have come to embrace Iai more and more, it means that other things, such as Highland Games, matter less and less. It is a number of factors of course - I find that throwing in the wet is not nearly as entertaining as it once was and driving more than two hours to and back is more than I want to do - but it is also because, simply, I have X amount of time and energy and must allocate them appropriately.
Some things stick with us of course - in a sense we are nomads of our lives, carrying some things from place to place to place (I fell in love with Japan at age 10; it took me 30 years to find a direct connection and 40 years to have a mechanism - training - to return there annually). But by choosing a new life, we by default choose to lose on the old.
I wonder: if we really grasped that by choosing a new life we cost the old one, would we always be so eager to do so? Or would we simply become more melancholy about the change, more thoughtful about the choice - and do it anyway?
I dunno TB.
ReplyDeleteI went the opposite way you did: instead of moving to take advantage of opportunity elsewhere I planted my feet where I was and made my home here. We live frugally, paid our debts down early, banked and saved like demons and tried to stay as close to the family and friends as we could.
Our friends started trading new lives for old first. The divorces and/or career changes carried them off, one by one. We hear back occasionally and they are always so happy to see us right where we’ve always been, right where the left us years ago. (“Why aren’t you two on Facebook?!?!”)
Then the family started to change too. They started becoming different people as they embraced new values and ideologies. They became different people right in front of our eyes. They became the kind of people I didn’t want to be around and we mutually rejected each other I guess. (That’s part of why I am not on Facebook).
Nowadays I idly dream about moving to a small town in the north, and the wife ties our bonds down here ever tighter with the folks at our chapel. I’ve swapped old lives for new ones several times now. I dunno if I care for it... but that seems to be part of life I guess.
The price of change.
ReplyDeleteEvery decision you make, as you say, does the same. Not like moving; but yes. Multiple realities?
Sorry. Don't know where I was going with this. Son came in talking and poof! It was gone, haha.
Have a blessed week. :)
Glen, I wonder if it something we always choose.
ReplyDeleteI do not think there is anything wrong with your solution-in fact, I would have preferred your solution if I had the option. I did not, however - partially by choice, partially by necessity.
The family - yes, it echoes in the back of my mind. Na Clann are getting older now and I can already see where we are diverging, although in all fairness I did with parents for many years as well. I would like to believe that they will come around as I did; only time will tell.
In a sense, friend, you did choose a new life - it was really just your old life, every time you chose the same rather than different. Ultimately I think you made the better choice.
Indeed Linda, every choice has consequences. And while you can choice your actions, you cannot choose the consequences of your actions.
ReplyDelete