Drained

Post audit days are mostly days of recovery.

That strikes some people as sort of amusing or even as something which does not seem possible - after all, is it not true that during audits all you really do is sit there, pull documents, and answer questions?  That is true of course - but the reality is hardly apparent to the eye that does not know better.

To be in an audit is to constantly be in a state of preparedness.  It is to constantly be trying to out think the auditor, to be ready for every potential outcome of the question they are asking, to listen to them in silence or perhaps when my head is nodding while in my mind I am racing ahead to find the solution to what they say, to avoid the potential observation or nonconformity.  And above all, to live in constant dread of finding the chink in the armor, the one thing that had been missed during preparation, the one failure that will bring the observation or nonconformity.

It is exhausting beyond all measure.

When it is done, one almost just collapses into one's chair.  One collects the various documents that were brought out for the audit and piles them up for filing or disposal later - doing it the day of is simply beyond the realm of rational thought.

And then comes the next day.  Today.

My aspirations are low indeed:  file and assess documents, close out the audit from our books, perhaps catch up on the work that I needed to do but did not because of the audit.  That might be all.  I cannot fully describe the feeling that body has now:  drained, tired, a little slow.  The thought of initiating an actual new project sounds so remote from where I am that I can scarcely must the energy for the thought.

Most people would never think that just sitting there could be so mentally exhausting.