The Injury

Q:  So you didn’t post yesterday.  What’s up?

A:   I was running a little late yesterday morning.

Q:  Why?
A:  I actually got home at 3:30 AM from the Emergency Room.

Q:  Good Heavens!  What happened?

A:  A small training accident at Iaido Class.

 

Q:  Where did you get hit?  Did it hurt?
A:  On the bridge of the nose and under my right eye.  It didn’t hurt as much as some other things that I have had happen to me in my life. I honestly thought I was okay until I noticed I was bleeding a bit (by a bit, of course, I mean more than a bit).

Q: Did you black out?  Did you see flashes?  Did you see Elvis?

A:  No, unfortunately my life long dream of seeing Elvis failed to materialize yet again.

Q:  So you went to the emergency room.  What happened?

A:  I sat around a lot.  The initial ER doctor looked at me, and then another ER doctor looked at me.  They determined I had a “laceration with possible impact to the lachrymal canal”.  Also, I had a small piece of bone missing - a hole in my head, if you will (this will confirm what many of you have thought for years).

Q:  What happened then?

A:  I got transported via wheelchair to the CT scan (turns out there were no footrests for the wheel chairs – someone had been taking them all.  Go figure.).

Q :  How was the CT scan?

A:  It was cool!  It was like being in a StarGate:  The ring made noises and spun around, the table lifted you up and down.  I’ve been on rides that were less entertaining.

Q:  Good news there?

A:  Yup, no broken bones.
 

Q: And then they stitched you up.

A:  No.  I waited longer and they decided to send me to a larger ER to find an ophthalmologist to look at my injury. So I went by ambulance.

Q:  Was it a siren flashing, fun filled ride?
A:  No, really quite tame.  I shared the ride with a very nice woman who had her nose accidentally broken by her young son when he popped up from watching something and clocked her.  We were the “face trauma express”. I don’t believe the EMTs had ever had a run like us.  I’m sure we were disappointing in some ways:  virtually no pain to alleviate or anything to do other than monitor our vitals.  On the other hand, I’m sure they wish there were plenty more like us.

Q:  No sirens, huh?

A:  You’d be surprised how unoccupied New Home freeways are at 1:00 AM.
 

Q:  So you got to the next emergency room and then got stitches?

A:  Actually, no.  He was also concerned about the area of the injury – as he described it “There’s a lot of complicated machinery in there”.  This was about 2:30 AM.  I think we were all a bit tired and it was determined that I could go until the next morning at 9 AM with no risk.

Q:  So what then?

A:  By the time I picked my car up and got home it was almost 4:00 AM.  I got about 2 hours sleep before getting up to take Nighean Dhonn to Day Camp.

Q:  And then you got your stitches?

A:  No, then I went to the ophthalmologist.  Their opinion was that my eye looked fine (no damage to the retina, pressure was fine, ability to see was undiminished), but then wanted an ocular plastic surgeon to verify that there was no damage to my tear duct.

Q:  An ocular plastic surgeon?

A:  Yes.  Prior to about 16 hours ago I had no idea such a job title existed.

Q:  And then?

A:  I went to the ocular plastic surgeon.  Wonderful people.  They verified that my tear duct was working (turns out that it drains into throat.  Ask me how I know…).  Some Novocain and 10 stitches later, I arrived back home at 3:00 PM.
 

Q:  Are you going to have a scar?

A:  I’m sure hoping so.  I don’t know.  My surgeon was really, really good and I’m sure it would be taken as an indictment of their skill if there was one.  I, on the other hand, am hoping for the equivalent of the Heidelberg fencing scar of the last century.

Q:  Sounds like you saw a lot of doctors.
A:  I saw at least 5.  I saw more in the last 20 hours than I have seen in the previous 4 years.

Q:  How is The Ravishing Mrs. TB taking this?

A:  The Ravishing Mrs. TB is actually out of town on a mission trip with Nighean Gheal and Nighean Bhean.  I am convinced that between this and locking myself out of the house on Sunday she is never going to leave me home alone again.

Q:  You really locked yourself out of the house?
A:  We’re talking about my injury, not other issues…

Q: Best lines from the event?

A:  First Item:  Initial ER doctor examination:  She comes over to look at my injury, lifts it up, and says “C**p!”  This is not what you typically want to hear from your doctor.

Second item:  conversation with the EMT about my injury

“So you got hit with a sword?”
“Actually, a naginata.  Let me spell it:  n-a-g-i-n-a-t-a”.

(Silence)

“And that’s a …”

“It’s a Japanese pole arm.  It’s about six feet long and has a blade on the end-“

“Could we just say ‘Wooden pole arm?”

“That’ll work”

Third item:  conversation with the ophthalmologist:

O:  “So you do martial arts?”

TB:  “I do.”

O:  “So I should watch out?”

TB:  “Actually, no.  I’m pretty slow and more of a danger to myself than you.”

Q:  Overall Impressions?
A:  First of all, I was incredibly blessed.  God has been gracious in this entire event.  No serious injury (nor was anyone else seriously injured).  Insurance appears to cover everything. 

I was also blessed by a whole series of wonderful people:

-          My fellow student D who drove me to the ER and sat with me for 3 hours, took Laurel back home, came back and sat with me another 2 hours, then gave me a ride back to my car.

-          Our friend The Plumber who selflessly came over at midnight to stay here with Laurel until I got home.

-          All of my fellow students and senseis at my dojo who calmly and quietly went about cleaning up and not making a big deal about anything.

-          Without fail, every one of the medical personnel I met at four different medical institutions.  They were all pleasant, kind, professional and only interested in ensuring that I got the best treatment.  I never had any concern that I was not cared for or that I was forgotten.  If you have to be injured, New Home is a great city to do it in.

Second of all, I got to do a lot of firsts:

-          First CT Scan

-          First Ambulance Ride

-          First visit to an ophthalmologist

-          First visit to an ocular plastic surgeon

And a lot of other fun things:

-          Ride in a wheel chair.

      -          Got to sit in all kinds of chairs and beds that moved up, down, and in various pretzel poses.

-          My first visit in years to an ER that was for my own cause (and not one of my kids).

-          Learn all kinds of facts that will be useful in Trivial Pursuit:  Medical Edition.

Furthermore, I did my part for the art:  there are now at least 25 people who I am sure prior yesterday had never heard of Muso Jikiden Eshin Ryu that now know.

Q: Final thoughts?
A:  The short version?  I got poked and went to the hospital, where I got to meet many wonderful people and do a lot of neat things.  Maybe not one of my best days but surely one of the most interesting. 

There are times (like this) that Life turns out to be a great deal cooler than you anticipated.