Unexpected Free Time

Yesterday evening something happened which has not happened in a very long time:  I had free time and nothing to fill it with.

It crept up on me unaware.  I looked up after dinner and washing dishes and it was only 7:00 PM.  I started going through my list of things I usually do.  Harp?  I had done it already.  Iaido?  I had class that night.  Weight Training?  Done yesterday.  Suddenly I found myself at a loose end.

Which struck me as ridiculous.  Here I am, someone who constantly has things I would like to be working on (or in the case of work, have to be working on), without an immediate thing at hand to do and no idea what I should be doing.  Had it really been so long since I had the concept of free time thrust into my hand?

What did I do? I finally read, something which I ordinarily love to do - but not the first thing that jumped to my mind.  Even when I was reading, I had this constant sense of nagging at the back of my mind, as if there was something else - some undefined quite important thing - that I should be doing instead of what I was doing.

The whole incident lasted only an hour, but the sense of it followed me to class, back home, and into the bed at night.  Perhaps I am wrong, but the fact that free time comes as a surprise and I have to struggle to fill it with something I enjoy tells me - perhaps - that there is perhaps not enough extra time built into the fabric of my life.  After all, activities we do should be something that we enjoy, not chores which become burdensome tasks in their own right.  And free time should not be seen as an unexpected guest with nowhere to sit but as an expected friend with a comfortable chair and a book waiting for it.

Because free time, like guests, will eventually find its way to other doors if not welcomed at our own.