It's last day of work before Christmas vacation 2012.
It's odd. I think at one time such a day as this would have brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart. It would be the official kick off the longer Christmas holiday - and even if it was not a long a vacation as some I have had, at least it would be met with a sense of excitement.
There is no sense of excitement as I write this morning. All that looms before me a great sense of everything that I have to do today before I go - and everything that I know I will simply not get done. It is a sort of numbing dread, a nameless fear that knows that even as I walk out the door I will be in worse shape when I return.
This is not the way a holiday - especially Christmas - is meant to be anticipated. One should measure it in time spent away and items done with family and friends, not with everything that is not getting accomplished.
I'm sure that things will get better, of course. Once I am finally done - that door is finally closed and I walk out to the car - there will be a sense of relief, perhaps a growing sense of anticipation that I will have some time to simply decompress from the world around me.
But it occurs to me that this is not - overall - the way things should be. Every year it feels like the time frame becomes more and more compressed. Every year enjoyment seems to take a little more of a backseat to the "realities" of the actual workplace. Every year Christmas seems to come later and later in my life.
How does one break such a trend?
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