A Nagging Feeling

I had the nagging feeling that God wanted to teach me something last night.

I am starting to be confronted by the reality that my contractual obligations are reaching their end here in New Home and I am about to (once again) begin to have options. I've been torn, as on the one hand we continue to enjoy New Home but not my current job, while the thought of where we came from always stays in mind - but to once again uproot everyone to move precipitiously strikes me as the height of foolishness.

So last night, home and exhausted, I suddenly had the feeling that God wanted to - needed to - teach me something last night. If you've ever had that feeling I suspect that you know what it is: a sense that you need to stop doing what your doing and focus on God, a sense that the feeling is so wispy that that if you choose to ignore it you could, even as it a powerful sense of "You should do this now" in your chest.

And for once, I obeyed. Oh not as quickly as I probably should have - I can always come up with something else to do - but I finally did.

This is the part where I'd love to say that some great revelation occurred. I'd love to - except it didn't happen. Yes, I read God's word and a bit of a devotional. Yes, I tried to pray (almost ended up falling asleep!). Yes, I searched (apparently in vain) for an answer to the questions that are vexing me. But nothing (due much more to the listener than the teacher, no doubt).

But maybe that wasn't the point.

Perhaps the point was simply a question of obedience - like I was writing about yesterday, the question of self-will versus self-control: when presented with a sense of God, what was I going to do? Would I, as I so often have, act with self-will and mute the volume and go about my day? Or would I stop what I was doing, exercise self control and listen?

If nothing else, there is a sense that God is there, watching and listening - if only I will pay attention to Him when He calls.