Why Do We Do The Things We Do?

Why do we engage in anything - thoughts, behaviours, actions - which are contrary to our own best interest?

Yes, I know I could take the relatively easy way out and say "sin" - and while on one level that would be true, on another level that is just a convenient excuse for the saved Christian. Of course we sin. Of course we have a sin nature which we are (hopefully) dealing with the through the Spirit and the process of sanctification.

But that still doesn't get away from the area of choice, which is where I am this morning. Why do we - goodness, why do I -choose thoughts, behaviours, and actions which are contrary to my own best interest?

It's either one of two things: 1) Making the bad choices meets some kind of need within me even though I don't or can't acknowledge it; or 2) I am making choices based on a script that no longer is appropriate for my life.

1) Making bad choices meets some kind of need within me even though I don't or can't acknowledge it - Interesting, but in some ways this gets me back to sin. Certainly there is a sense in which doing something feels better than choosing nothing. A need to act decisively - or a sense from others that I need to act decisively?

2) Making choices based on a script that is no longer appropriate in my life - Less self awareness here but probably more accurate. It goes along with my truth theme of a few days ago. I make choices based on things that used to be true but maybe are not so much now. I cling to them because the exercise of realizing, acknowledging, and casting them off in favour of other decisions is more than I feel like I am intellectually capable of (i.e. I'm lazy).

In Man of La Mancha, Aldonza sings a song to Don Quixote titled "What You Want From Me?". As part of the song she asks:

"Why does he do the things he does?
Why does he do these things?
Why does he march
Through the dream that he's in,
Covered in glory and rusty old tin?
Why does live in a world that can't be,
And what does he want of me...
What does he want of me?"

For Don Quixote, he does these things because of his world view, a world view that in theory no-one else sees but in fact is more noble than any of the other characters - seeing life as he would have it, not as it is. In his case, realization is brought to him of the difference - but the others try to bring him down to their level of crassness and reality, instead of elevating to his. In Don Quixote's case, his choices were ones which ennobled those around him.

Mine are not nearly so good.

How do I get off the intellectually lazy bus on a regular basis? How do I make choices based on what is now - or even on what I aspire to and wish to be - rather than what is or what has been?