Seeing Clearly

I'm in the throes of a decision that needs to be made by the end of the day, something I had not planned on having to do: paying my mortgage this month.

My hope was, as we were in the process of relocating and selling, I could get by without this being an issue because the sale would be underway. Instead, I find myself in the position of having to choose to pay with money we could use elsewhere for home deposit at New Home and living expenses or not paying and using the money for a house deposit and living expenses at the potential cost of immediate credit rating and progression of the short sale.

I've received council of belove friends - Uisdean Ruah, Bogha Frois - and The Ravishing Mrs. TB. I've pondered and pondered - if I contact the bank, it will have to be today.

The comment, brought up by Uisdean Ruadh, is the one that continues to plow through my head: the hardship laws are there for a reason, and the reality is, you are at that reason.

Which is remarkable to me, because I don't feel that I am - or I don't choose to feel that I am. But is that me simply denying the reality of where we are? I don't' have to deal with the day to day issues of managing our money as The Ravishing Mrs. TB does.

Am I seeing our situation clearly? Am I seeing myself clearly? Am I looking for an excuse to avoid doing something, or am I being prideful to keep from humbling myself to reality?